While the pros and cons of relaxing hair are discussed in detail at black hair salons everywhere, at Nappturality.com, the Internet’s shrine to natural hair, chemical straighteners are not up for debate.
If you ask Patricia “Dee” Gaines, the Rhode Island-reared, Australia-dwelling founder of Nappturality, there are no pros to relaxing your hair.
“Hate is not strong enough word for how I feel about the product,” Gaines told Stereohyped. “Not only do I see what it does to women’s hair, I see what it does to their feelings about themselves. I relaxed for over 20 years. The mindset that I had when I was relaxing my hair for 20 years was that my own hair as it grew out of my head was not acceptable, and no one could tell me any different.”
It was seven years ago that Gaines decided to grow out her relaxer — a product she considers dangerous to the health of womens’ hair, scalp, and spirit — and discover her natural hair. In the process, she discovered many other women like her out there. Women who wanted to stop straightening their hair but were afraid — either because of their jobs, their husbands, or their own negative feelings about their natural locks. It was for them, and for herself, that she launched the Web site community Nappturality (a combination of the words nappy, natural, and spirituality), where members, of which there are currently 67,000, can start threads, post photos, share information, and ask questions pertaining to natural hair.
Although Gaines is based in Australia, the overwhelming majority of Nappturality members are from the United States, and her site gets hits from ever corner of the globe.
“It’s grown into more than a hair site,” she said. “Its started out as a hair site, and its got so much more in it now, and it is expanding outwards. It’s expanding into areas that i didn’t expect it to expand into.”
Several natural hair product businesses have launched in Nappturality’s forums, and Gaines makes it a point to support these businesses whenever possible. She is also currently formulating her own product line that she hopes will be available soon. The site will continue to grow and evolve, she said, but some things will always stay the same.
“I’m never going to change my stance,” she said. “I’m never going to ease my stance against pressing or hair straightening.”
Although Gaines is virulently against hair straightening, it might be more fair to describe her as almost religiously pro-natural hair. One of her goals is to get women to shed what they have always been taught about standards of beauty and see something wonderful in what naturally grows out of their heads.
“It’s playing to our inferiority complex,” she said. “Toward the European standard of beauty. We try to make ourselves as close to that ideal as possible, and the easiest thing to do is straighten our hair. As time goes on we come to believe that we straighten our hair because it’s a styling option and because our hair is difficult.”
But natural hair is not difficult, Gaines said. The problem is that most people, particularly people who are used to styling straightened hair, have no clue how to style and treat natural hair. Rest assured that there are plenty of threads on Nappturality that cover those very topics. And despite the still-very-strong contingent of women with zero interest in giving up their relaxers or hot combs or flat irons, she has witnessed a growing interest in unstraightened hair among black women the world over.
“As we see more and more women with beautiful natural hair out there,” she said, “more women are looking at their hair and thinking, ‘Well, jeez. Their hair is beautiful.’ It’s a little seed that’s planted every time you see a woman walking around with natural hair. Like, why can’t I do that too?”
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If this is the cause that gets her up in the morning…more power to ya sista *raises fist up in the air*. She has put more thought into “HAIR” then I ever care to.
The truth is the truth. We all need to ask ourselves why we do what we do because if we’re willing to pay to put foreign chemicals in our hair by the age of 9 on up, we obviously are putting way more thought and effort into our hair than we care to admit.
Second Mo’Ree’s statement. I am not a fan of the site as it didn’t do much for me when I was trying to stay natural but it doesn’t mean it isn’t good for others.
I simply don’t care to think of hair more than the usual “how-am-i-going-to-not-look-HAMtastic-today?” I now have a relaxer which is toxic. Lasering off all the body hair is not natural either but I do it.
My same friends who encouraged me to go natural sans braids (with press & curls for work) are the same ones who talked about my “bad” hair after they tried unsuccessfully to make it look decent so I’m wary of the preachy people now. The insinuation is that you should only go natural if you have “good” hair. I’m still angry that I spent so much time, energy and money on my hair this past summer.
I will never understand why every super militant natural hair advocate ( and I have been natural in the past and present ) feel that because THEY may have been weakminded and filled with self hatred and disgust for their natural texture that everyone else who ever relaxed their hair was the same way. I mean, there are definitely women out there that just do it because they’ve always done it, or have been conditioned to think that their natural hair is ugly or unacceptable - but one person’s experience does not cover the gamut. If you’re happy with your hair for what is it is — either just hair that you can cut, dye, curl or tease at a whim, or an enormous political statement then more power to you. But let me be happy with my hair, regardless of how I choose to style it, in peace.
I definitely think the militant ones have self-hatred issues. My very militant friend stated that she’s only attracted to “high yellow” men. She is very confrontational to black women who don’t have fros, locks, twists or braids (minus yaki). If you’re in everyone’s face about it, my guess is that it’s self-righteous pity. It just seems like it’s a burden to her as it’s taking up so much of her mental real estate.
The majority of women with natural hair aren’t militant, self-righteous or confrontational. To me, the militants politicize hair and everyone else is just living their life.
WHY??? I sooo agree, I don’t understand why relaxing my hair has anything to do with my self-esteem. I have great self-esteem, I have a great daddy, I have had great relationships and friendships, i KNOW i’m gorgeous, and i love my relaxer. I’m black everyday of my life, I don’t need an afro or kinky hair to substantiate that any further. I can see beauty in everything from a natural twist out to a lace-front weave, do you, be happy with who ever you are.
High 5’s Daria I hate it when people equate natural hair with “being down to earth” or “holistic”…it’s just hair what’s under it is so much more important then curly or straight.
If you look carefully through these pro-natural hair websites and blogs, the most vocal supporters have hair that reflects their mixed heritage.
I think that’s true of a lot of sites, but Nappturality has this on its home page:
Well…as someone who actually works with hair. I’m a firm believer in bad vs. good hair. Bad hair is the type that upon looking at it, I’d rather cut my own hands off than have to comb it out and try to style it. Sorry.
I stopped getting relaxers about 7 or 8 years ago and I personally prefer my natural texture. I don’t see myself ever getting a relaxer again. I don’t look down on women with relaxers though and I don’t think they all have self-hate issues. I flat iron my hair every few months just to change it up, so I’m definitely not opposed to black women with straight hair. I think it’s silly for women with natural hair to pass judgment on women who wear their hair straight and I think it’s equally silly for women with straightened hair to sneer at natural hair as automatically “ugly.”
What did India.Arie say? I am not my hair….
^^good post!
I think most women with natural hair would agree with Demetria. Neither hair type is inherently ugly or beautiful. I like India’s song. Militant Natural Hair friend used to have it on all the time. Funny thing is that when you’re that militant or tie so much of your identity to your hair, it becomes your identity instead of just the stuff on your head that’s an accessory for your face.
Where on earth did yall get the idea that Dee is militant? Its not like her mission in life is to make everyone stop relaxing or pressing their hair, she just wishes the us Black folk would see the beauty in our natural hair.Everything that she said about relaxers is true! They’re toxic to the scalp and damage your hair. Too bad you guys cant see that.
“No. 7 jo says:
If you look carefully through these pro-natural hair websites and blogs, the most vocal supporters have hair that reflects their mixed heritage.
Posted: Oct 27, 2007 at 3:43 pm”
Sorry, but I am too busy laughing at the above comment to comment further. Ridiculous.
“No. 7 jo says:
If you look carefully through these pro-natural hair websites and blogs, the most vocal supporters have hair that reflects their mixed heritage.
Posted: Oct 27, 2007 at 3:43 pm”
I’m sorry, I must have missed the part where they said that Dee was of mixed heritage…..oh yeah, that’s because that wasn’t said AT ALL. Nappturality members’ hair textures range from Cree Summer ringlets to cloudy, fluffy naps and every texture in between. And all of it is “good hair” because it is what God gave them, and he don’t make junk. We as African-Americans get enough messages on a daily basis saying that we aren’t good enough because of our skin color, so why should we perpetuate such behavior against ourselves with that tired “good hair/bad hair” drama? All it does is discourage unity.
Another thing - why do people automatically assume that persons who choose to wear their natural texture are militant? Is every relaxer-wearer a hair-flipping Valley Girl? Of course not. I know militant relaxed women as well as natural women who would give June Cleaver a run for her money. Please, let’s stop with the generalizations.
I don’t understand what half of these comments have to do with the actual *content* of the article. I think a lot of people are tossing their own issues into the mix here. All Dee said was that natural hair is good…what does that have to do with mixed heritage, militance, or looking down on women with relaxers?
It’s funny how folks continue to ~prove~ how closed minded and brain washed they really are in regards to the entire natural hair issue.
I find the most hostile responses tend to be from the most insecure and dare i say it; afraid.
Folks who are truly comfortable with their choices (and those of others) do not and will not express such open hostility to natural hair. Like some have said, there is no such thing as good hair or bad hair.
Natural and Napptural do NOT mean we are hostile or militant people; it means we choose accept ourselves as-is.
Why the hostility and the negative attitudes in regards to natural hair?
Perhaps it’s time that those with the most negative attitudes do a little soul searching and self-reflection?
I am a napptural sister myself. I had no problems with relaxers, I just choose to keep my hair natural, b/c I like it and it’s me. I don’t look down on ppl who get relaxers b/c that is their choice. I am bothered by ppl (both relaxed and napptural) who pass judgement on others just because they choose to wear their hair a certain way. I got love for all black women, b/c regardless of what we do to our hair, we are still strong beautiful creatures, and we need to stop tearing each other down, and build each other up.
Yeah I never understand why relaxed women get SOOOOO hostile with us just for wanting to be real. I am not on the corner trying to convert people, I just want me and my daughter to be chem free and love who we are and how we were made and not have to be called names like militant.. I love Dee and I love the site and I am glad that there is a place that NAPPTURAL women can go and feel accepted and have support because lord knows that there are alot of people who wants to tear us down, call us nappy headed and other derogatory names.
I think a lot of the individuals on here are missing the point. EVERYONE that is natural is not militant, and it doesn’t mean that they have the greatest of self esteem either. The point is, some people are made to feel like they are less than worthy, be it because some are saying their hair is too nappy, hell it can even be, your nose is too broad, or your skin is too dark. And please don’t tell me that bullsh*t about some individuals with a perm think that their hair is “too nappy” to not have a perm, because soon as they see someone with a natural head of hair what do a lot of them say? “My hair is too nappy, I could NEVER wear it natural.” If that does not sound like some brain-washed bullsh*t I don’t know what is.
Oh yes, and bottom line, if you don’t like the creed of Nappturality, no problem. If you feel insulted or slighted or whatever, hey, here’s a tissue for your issue. Either find another site you feel more at home with or start your own. But PLEASE don’t sit here and pass judgment on the sisters there because when you point one finger you will have ten more pointing right back at you.
i don’t understand why people have to pull that “oh she must be mixed, that’s why she can go natural” as if practically every black person in america is not mixed somewhere down the line. it’s called slavery and miscegenation, deal with it. if you went natural you might find you have a “mixed” texture too. and there are plenty of mixed black women who have a more tightly coiled texture rather than the stereotypical “mixed” texture. ANYONE can go natural. don’t lie to yourself about why you don’t.
I went natural about 1 year ago through the help of the nappturality website and all I can say is that it helped me find myself.. Now when I say that I’m beautiful I’m talking about the real me not some fried and dyed version of who God created me to be..I think all black women are beautiful and as such I will continue to wear my hair proudly because although many will not admit it I know that there are plently of my sistas who look at me and think “why is she wearing her hair like that” as if they forgot what their hair really looks like. I have 4 nieces and I want them to look at me and see a reflection of themselves and know that they’re beautiful just the way they are..
I’m natural and a proud, subscribed member of Dee’s site, Nappturality. I love my natural hair and no longer like the look of straight hair on me, but I DO NOT look down on my fellow relaxed sistas. WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL, NO MATTER IF YOU’RE WEAVED, PERMED OR NATURAL.
I can understand that not all of us want to be natural, but I can not stand to hear comments like, “my hair is too nappy to go natural” or “only mixed girls can go natural” etc. It really bothers me. Regardless of whether you want to admit or not, SOME of us are indeed struggling with a self-hate mentality that has plagued us since slavery. We have to get over it y’all. We CAN do this together but we have to UNITE and kill all of this division that we perpetuate amongst ourselves, like the awful good-hair vs. bad-hair bullsh!t and the light-skin vs. dark-skin crap. Let the shackles break free and free your mind!
Love.
WOW @ these comments!
“blackmistressdiva says:
Well…as someone who actually works with hair. I’m a firm believer in bad vs. good hair. Bad hair is the type that upon looking at it, I’d rather cut my own hands off than have to comb it out and try to style it. Sorry.
Posted: Oct 29, 2007 at 2:01 pm”
Don’t be sorry. I’d rather know that upfront so I can avoid going to you like THE PLAGUE. A client should NEVER has to deal with a stylist who feels that way about them. How terrible for your clients!
It’s sad that most of the responses were ignorant and immature. Out of all the posts,there were only a few posts that I read that actually got the point of the nappturality article.That’s sad……..
Peace and Blessings All,
I just wanted to say that I am a very proud and militant nappy.
While I am militant, I do not walk around making it my personal business to convert all women who ‘relax’ their hair. My militant side only comes out when people try to tell me that I need to perm or do something with my hair. I will shut anyone down who tries to tell me what to do with my hair, particularly if I didn’t even ask them. I will also shut anyone down who tries to tell me I have bad hair and that I need to do x,y, z with it.
If someone has a question about nappy hair, I answer it. If someone wants to talk about my reasons for going natural, I share my reasons. I will NEVER advocate perming, straightening, or altering natural hair.
Being militant does not mean yelling and fighting with black women who perm their hair. It doesn’t mean projecting my ideals onto others. I am a peaceful, loving Sistah with a big heart. Being militant means standing by what I believe in and trying to influence people to love their natural hair in a positive and peaceful way.
Ghandi and MLK had a lot of followers and they were peaceful, spiritual, and non-violent. No one will ever listen to someone who berates them and puts them down for their personal decisions.
So, to any relaxed Sistah who reads my words, I want you to know that I don’t think less of you for relaxing, straightening, or altering the texture of your hair. I just want more for you. I want you to realize that your natural beauty is all the beauty you need. I want you to realize that black, thick, nappy ass hair is not bad hair. It is hair that requires a different kind of care.
I am confident that Dee feels the same way. She doesn’t look down on people who relax their hair. She doesn’t think all Black women who perm think they are less than. She just wants all Black women, as do I, to love and embrace their natural hair.
If you have any questions for me or want to hear more about my personal experiences and thoughts, you can find me on Nappturality. My SN is Button.
Blessings to you and yours,
~Button
Well, judging from many of the comments on this site…nice to know the slave mind is still alive and kicking! omg…i wonder what the responses would have been if the article was about skin color: “Well, who is she to say I should be proud of my dark skin? If I want to use bleaching cream, I’ll use it! It’s a choice! It’s not a self-esteem issue. I mean who wants to look like the spook who sat at the door?? Only the mixed ones can walk around looking alright. I mean, Michael Jackson looks way better than he used to!!” I just hang my head a cringe. So sad….
I am a member of Nappturality and Dee’s site has encouraged me on how to even take care of my nappy hair, embrace it, and love it for what it is. I had to start my natural journey because I started to loose my hair from perms. Bald spots and a harsh lack of hair growth was occuring and I had no choice but to go natural. Thank goodness for nappturality because it assisted me on styling tips, encouragement from other nappturals and realizing that my hair is good. Good hair in my opinion is hair that can and will do whatever you desire for it to do. Kudos for Dee and her boldness to even start and maintain this site. It has been very helpful for me and my journey. Thanks.
why is it considered militant to wear the hair I was born with? It seems more militant to deny that and subject my scalp to liquid Drano just so I can fit in with the masses.??just wondering..
God made my hair. I realized when i alter what God made, it slaps Him in the face. The word says and He looked at what He made and it was VERY GOOD. That includes my hair.
Hair made to protect my crown from the scorching head. Hair meant to absorb the moisture of the Red Sea, providing me a covering. Hair meant to encase power in it’s helix formation absorbing life, carrying memory my mind cannot contain. If kinky hair was good enough for Jesus why is it not good enough for you? If God doesnt give you more than you can handle, why would he not give you the strength and knowledge to maintain the power of your crown?
I choose to grow, be strong and get some of that power after years of relaxing and pasting my brain. So more power to you sisters that choose to relax, I dont condemn you. Just dont condemn me or marginalize by calling me militant.
Everything God made is good.
Its ashamed that so many of you have missed the point of the interview, as well as the goal of website. This has nothing to do with passing judgment. As a natural who frequently posts on Nappturality, I respect everyone’s option to make their own decisions about their hair, but there is no denying the underlying reasons why many women of African descent choose to relax.
So while many may deny it, many may act like it doesn’t exists, there are many of us who have come to realization that we don’t have to conform to what relaxer ads and beauty standards have told us about our hair. If that makes me militant, then so be it. Sorry for believing that everything God made was good, and if He put this nappy hair on my head, it must be good.
Like many, many, many others, my going natural was (and sometimes still is) the source of many nasty and ignorant comments and responses from people, including family. That very fact tells me that there is something deep to this hair thing. When women walk around with thinned out balding hair that they continue to slap chemicals on or hide it under a weave, THAT tells me that there is something deep to this hair thing. For this reason, Nappturality exists. It has been the saving grace for many naturals who found support NOWHERE else–not in real life, not at jobs, not a church, not on the internet. I am one of those who was strengthened by the support and love found on the site.
Furthermore, the comment about the most vocal supporters being of mixed heritage is simply not true–a TRUE observation would show that there are ladies who represent natural hair of all types, and who come from many different backgrounds.
Be blessed.
Funny how you’re making assumptions about other’s reasons. I’ve had natural hair and I’ve had relaxed hair. Both are difficult for me to take care of and maintain in a way that I like. In terms of time, I’m just unwilling to spend much time thinking about it and I only do when my hair is in bad shape which is 50% of the time.
I don’t believe most black women have issues with their natural hair. I also don’t think most people with natural hair are militant. It’s not that deep and I fail to see the point in making it deeper than it is. It’s hair. My goodness. It’s an accessory to your face basically.
Couldn’t keep my natural hair in order or even properly detangle it. Got a friend with natural hair was my resource in town and I went to her with blow dryer and products. After several hours of working on and insulting my hair, it was never spoken of again. Seems like she was projecting her b.s. on me. I see the purpose in care tips because I KNOW there aren’t many good natural hair care places.
Really, it’s hair. I don’t expect support from my job or church or from most parts of real life. Why would I expect any opinion on the matter when I go to Eucharist? Do they provide any particular wisdom to people with relaxed hair, no hair, weaves or whatever else? I know it’s not just some of the people on here who care that much about hair. I see lots of white women crying when their hair gets cut to something reasonable like chin length or shoulder length. I don’t get it. It’s just hair. As long as mine looks put together (this has always been a challenge) and it’s not short. I don’t see that many sites for any sort of non-white hair.
As far as not changing what God gave you, do you realize how much we alter what’s natural? Make-up, shaving, waxing, Botox, peels, push up bras, Spanx, plastic surgery.
Another LOONNGGG time member of NP. Well we can’t win them all, but we sure as hell are getting plenty of members on NP for advice. Natural hair is beautiful and that’s all I know. Not a militant but I will support anyone seeking advice on natural hair. Peace!
You know it’s not just hair! If it was “just” hair many black women would have worn their hair sometimes naturals and sometomes relaxed without thinking that natural hair is just “wild” and “don’t look professional”. You’re denying the fact that many of you for some reasons don’t feel comfortable with their natural hair.
It is just hair and my goal is to not to look crazy which happens anyway regardless. If your hair has looked messy all your life, that strong attachment many women have to it basically goes away.
I was seriously considering chopping everything off a few days ago because it looked especially bad, the story of my life. If I didn’t have several blackheads, I would have chopped it off. The nice thing about having a lot of hair (length and thickness) is that it distracts from face issues. If your face is in great shape, chop it all off.
My hair, in all it’s states –from corn rows to braids to relaxer to relaxer+braids to gheri curl to natural+braids to relaxer to natural+braids to natural to relaxer– has always looked messy. I’ve always said that the day I get even skin, I’ll get buzz cut and call it a day. All hair care is just far more trouble than it’s worth. Zero maintenance. Men have the right idea.
or braids or twists or fro or relaxed, is troublesome for me because I’m just not skilled at hair care. If it were that serious, I would probably invest more in its care. No one seems completely content with the hair they have. White people with straight hair want curly hair. A lot of people with curly hair want straight. The grass is always greener.
I don’t think it is at all fair to clump people together and assume they had whatever negative feelings about their natural hair. I don’t see why it particularly matters. I don’t believe that the majority of black women can pledge allegiance to one side of the “hair wars.” I felt no more black African with one type of hair than I did with another. I certainly don’t think the whole “war” which I think has been created by a few very opinionated natural hair enthusiasts and super relaxer fans. The “war” doesn’t warrant the kind of press or mental real estate that it’s given. It is important for people to have resources on hair care and I certainly see the value there. I’m sure most black women don’t have access to a natural hair care salon or expert.
When I said that some of us didn’t get any support from those places, I meant that in many cases, it was ridicule, not just indifference. It is a matter of feeling accepted, or at least not being looked down upon, and many of us did not get that anywhere. Of course that is not everyone’s case.
Make-up, shaving, waxing, etc. aren’t a permanent means of altering your natural state. That’s a common excuse; I’ve heard it a million times, but there still is no real validity to it for argument’s sake. There also isn’t the same stigma attached to them as there is to having natural hair. I’m not just assuming everyone’s reasons, I’m basing this on the countless personal stories I’ve read on NP almost daily. I’m not saying that this is EVERYONE’S story, but it is the story of a great many.
Its not about feeling any more black than the next black person. I don’t think anyone has said that. But knowing the history of hair straightening, I can’t keep putting caustic and unnecessary chemicals in my hair. To some it is just “an accessory to your face”, but not for all of us. and given the response to our decisions to be natural, it obviously isn’t just hair to others either.
Women come up to me often (I live in a small town where 99% of the women wear relaxers or weaves) and inquire about my hair. They tell me that they are natural under their weaves because they don’t know what else to do with it or are afraid of what people will think. This is not me asking them or being “militant”, they simply approach me and ask. They tell me I have “that good hair” while really my hair probably looks a lot like their own. That’s deep. At least to me it is.
I mean the relaxer has become almost a right of passage in the black community. People are relaxing their children’s hair at 1 and 2 years old (so sad). Many black people have little or not recollection of their hair in its natural state before their first relaxer. I think that’s something to at least think about.
By the way, taking care of natural hair is not hard at all; its just a learning process. I’m much more comfortable dealing with my natural than I ever was with my relaxer.
“I don’t believe most black women have issues with their natural hair.”
Daria, either you’re innocent and blind or simply in denial. That has to be one of the dumbest quotes I’ve ever heard. Over 70% of black women relaxing their hair and there’s no issues at all? Many of those women not wanting to be caught dead in their natural hair and there’s no issues?
“No one will ever listen to someone who berates them and puts them down for their personal decisions.”
Button said it right!
There’s been a lot of name calling in this thread….”dumb”, “silly”, “immature” etc. so is this argument really going anywhere?
As a beauty blogger ,who writes about hair: Black wown do need to get a life. We spend too much money, time and effort of hair. Relaxed or natural; wavy or hard; long or short: We’ve made hair only redeeming quality. I feel that the ladies of Nappturality take things entirely to far. Right now, my blog is dedicated to relaxed hair care, but eventually I, too would like to try and go natural again.
Relaxers are becoming so advanced that you don’t have to use harsh chemicals. And naturals who do damaging things to their own texture are no different than women who relax. If you take care of your relaxed hair, your hair can be long, healthy and astounding.
I’m sick of the millitant “nappies” attacking those who relax, ann in the name of a “connection to the heritage.” I cannot get any blacker than I already am, no matter what I do with my hair.
hairsmystory.com
I think it’s so funny how my sistas will get down right hostile over hair choices but won’t bat a lash at the important issues in our community like poverty, education, healthcare, mental illness, unemployment, and the list goes on so long that no matter whether your hair is “natural” or “chemically altered” (which is all hair treated with products with chemical ingredients) it will never ever make a difference in what really matters.
For me hair is an art like tattoos and piercings. It compliments who you are, not makes you. There are white kids with pink hair with bigger hearts than a sista with locks just like there are women with afro puffs doing more for their communities than a sista with extensions. It has nothing to do with who you are inside because our greatest female sheroes have not been heroic because of their hair but because of what they did with their voices. No hairstyle can shut a woman down if she knows her power and her worth.
And you don’t see men fighting over having a fade or a texturizer do you? What’s next?
A fight over whether you should wear makeup or panty hose or pierce your ears or wear contact lenses as opposed to glasses?
This debate is so tired. *yawn*
I’m 21 years old and have been natural since June 2005. I absolutely love my natural hair! It’s so much healthier. At first, that’s the only reason why I went natural. Most Black women use some form of hair straightening, weaves, etc. to fit in with society. Now that I’ve been enlightened, that just doesn’t seem right to me. It’s not normal to alter yourself in that way, downplaying your natural characteristics. God doesn’t make mistakes.
Yes, white women wear hair extensions, too. But how many of them do you see wearing kinky twists, or some type of kinky weave? Also, we do wear makeup, shave our legs, and pluck our eyebrows. But that has nothing to do with trying to assimilate to look like another race.
All of this stems from the days of slavery. There is a wonderful book called “Untangling the Roots of Black Hair” in America. It goes from the middle passage, to modern day, talking about our struggle in this country to be accepted.
People say they relax their hair by choice, but why do you choose to do so? Obviously, you don’t feel you don’t look presentable in your natural state.
I don’t hate people who alter themselves; I used to do it. I just feel sorry for them.
It is not a desirable type of hair.
Ask a white person born with thin lips if they are born with desirable lips? The answer is no.
Ash a man who grows to be 5′6″ if he was born with desirable height. The answer is no.
Fortunately hair and even lips can be fixed.
Dry hair is not attractive. Coarse hair is not attractive. When my adolescent sons went through puberty, their hair turned in to a brillo pad consistency. It was horrible to touch and not pretty to look at.
Not everything is as tightly connected as hair coils. Disliking the texture of coarse, kinky hair does not mean you hate black people or are saluting slavery.
In reality, we are all constantly evolving towards some image of beauty. In the white community, there are many. In the black community, there are many. Nothing is everything.