• This story about Jay-Z requesting a watermelon carving of Beyonce’s breasts (with cherries as nipples!) would be really disturbing if it seemed like it was remotely true. [MN]

• By the time something that’s not supposed to be life threatening kills 300 people, should we discontinue its use? [BV]

• Kumbaya, America. [N&V]

• Sanaa Lathana and Nia Long have been added to the cast of the new Family Guy spin off, Cleveland. [EUR]

• Rihanna. Gucci. UNICEF. Ads. [SR]

Being a celebrity means losing a valuable portion of the privacy afforded to normal people. It’s the price they pay for being rich, famous, and adored by millions. But in some arenas, say, hospitals or the U.S. State Department, celebs should be under the same protections as common folk. It’s not always the case. Hospital records get leaked all the time and really bored government drones get all up in celebrity passport files. The State Department’s Inspector General issued a report last week revealing that nine high profile passport files were accessed more than a hundred times over a six year period. Beyonce’s file was one of the most frequently accessed.

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• Amy Winehouse doesn’t actually have emphysema, she just has scarring in her lungs that could lead to emphysema. That’s why it was okay for her to smoke a cigarette upon exiting the hospital. [MG]

• Diamonds are for never? [Jezebel]

• Jill Scott’s engaged! To a drummer named Lil John Roberts! Thank goodness its not a different Lil Jon. [BV]

• Does this look and sound like a straight-to-DVD production or what? [NB]

• Rick Ross and Foxy Brown plan to reveal their engagement at the BET Awards. Made for each other, those two are. [NR]

Originally, I was searching for an embeddable version of the Destiny’s Child’s “Bills, Bills, Bills” video and was planning to make some sort of joke about “automo’bills.” Then I came across this old performance from Planet Groove, and it has to be the weakest, most lackluster performance I’ve ever seen from Destiny’s Child, but especially from Beyonce. Sasha wasn’t born yet.

I was browsing the internet disinterestedly last night when I came across a blog post about an online race, age, and sex morphing program on the UK’s University of St. Andrew’s website. Choosing a random celebrity, I entered 50 Cent’s picture and made him more feminine (to your right), a white man, an East Asian man, and a West Asian man. Creepiness ensued. Then I entered Beyonce, who sort of looks the same no matter what race she’s supposed to be, and before I got totally bored with the whole thing, I put in a picture of myself. It wasn’t pretty, and not only because the morphing technology here isn’t particularly impressive. Let’s just say we all look the way we do for a reason.

• Just in case you were still worrying about the possibility that there really is a video of Michelle Obama referring to “whitey” floating around. [AN]

• Janet Jackson’s label has ceased all promotion for her newest album, so don’t expect another single. [SP]

• Snoop delivers marital advice to Beyonce and Jay-Z. Okay. [People]

• Does Bobby Brown still have delusions of grandeur? Yep? Just checking. [C&D]

• In addition to smoking copious amounts of crack, Amy Winehouse knows racist versions of childrens’ songs as well. [GW]

• I want to be Jonathan Vargas when I grow up. [N&V]

• Mimi wasn’t trying to ruin Nick Cannon’s boy’s night out a few nights ago, she just needed an assistant at her photo shoot. [Bossip]

• I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: promoting a movie means throwing your dignity out the window. [Str8NYC]

• Tina Turner says Beyonce’s not “rock and roll.” Beyonce would probably agree. [SR]

• Diddy’s making millions off of his partnership with Ciroc vodka. If only he actually liked to drink it. [TMZ]

What’s the only thing that stands between Beyonce and regular church attendance? Not tours or her busy schedule. It’s the fans. “I can’t really go to church any more, which is a shame,” she said. “People have come up to me in church during the sermon and, of course, people watch everything I do. They come up and take my picture on their mobile phones. They’re very nice, but I think God understands if I miss Sunday service.”

Despites Kelly Rowland’s loyal insistence that it’s not true, the Beyonce-is-pregnant rumor persists. Page Six has a “confirmation” of the pregnancy from “pals” of Beyonce and Jay-Z and a smart-aleck non-denial from Bey’s rep.

But pals of the tight-lipped newlyweds say the songbird is expecting the couple’s first child. “She has gained a lot of pregnancy weight,” a source said. “When she gains weight, she normally does the Def Jam detox, but not now.” A rep for Beyoncé said, “I don’t know if she’s pregnant. Let me perform an ultrasound and get back to you.”

• Nicole Richie, Joel Madden, and one incredulous baby. [C&D]

• Mr. Collipark, the mastermind behind the Ying Yang Twins, Hurricane Chris, and Souljah Boy, has started a scholarship program for teen girls. One of the stipulations should be that the girls never, ever listen to his music. [AHH]

• Jay-Z and Beyonce honeymooned at the Sanctuary Camelback Mountain Resort in Arizona. No jokes! [Bossip]

• Here are some last minute Mother’s Day ideas. [RS]

• Chris Brown’s bodyguards need to chill. [SP]

One of the most glamorous annual events in New York City, the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, was held last night. As usual, the stars showed up to the party — this year’s theme was “Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy” — in all of their designer finery, and as usual, some gowns were finer than others. Loads more pics after the jump.

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• In other “older women talking about their decades-old interracial affairs with married men” news, Mary Wilson of the Supremes says that Tom Jones broke her heart. [SP]

• Why exactly would Beyonce need any of Jay-Z’s money? [NB]

• Voter suppression tactics in North Carolina? [TS]

• I don’t really keep up with the televangelist set, but apparently Juanita Bynum and her abusive ex-husband are just getting more and more ridiculous. [C&D]

• “Northwestern University withdrew its offer to give the Reverend Jeremiah Wright an honorary degree at this year’s commencement because of the controversy over past sermons by the former pastor to Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama. … Wright’s invitation wasn’t rescinded because of his views. Rather, Northwestern President Henry Bienen didn’t want to compromise the celebration.” [NPR]

BREAKING Beyonce is absolutely, positively, 100 percent pregnant. Maybe. [HS]

A LOT OF LOVE IN THIS CLUB Beyonce and Lil Wayne teamed up with Usher for a remix of “Love in This Club.” Eh.

• Alicia Keys sings about a teenage love affair — not gangsta rap, thankfully. [CL]

• Foxy Brown’s legal troubles aren’t over. Of course they aren’t. [NR]

• Orlando Brown, Raven-Symone’s young co-star on That’s So Raven, is missing. [Bossip]

• In case you’re wondering why urban music is dying a slow death. [SB]

• Can Solange upstage Beyonce? Uh, no. [STR8NYC]