Marion Jones is begging President G.W. Bush to commute her sentence out of the goodness of his heart. In addition to getting her Olympic medals snatched away for using performance-enhancing drugs, Jones was sentenced to six-months in prison for lying to feds about it and for check fraud. She entered prison in March, and the Justice Department has confirmed that she is among hundreds of felons who request commuted sentences. The department analyzes the requests and makes recommendations to the president. What do you think are her chances of success? I’m going with slim to none. [HP]

It turns out the Teflon Reverend, Al Sharpton, won’t be indicted on federal tax charges after all. The feds have dropped their probe of Sharpton and his organization, the National Action Network, in exchange for a promise from Sharpton to pay a tax settlement of somewhere between $2 million and $9 million.

Prosecutors have officially and, I’d bet a million of that tax money, grudgingly, handed the matter over to the IRS. [NYDN]

It’s generally the worst idea ever for accused criminals to represent themselves in court, but it certainly does make for some interesting courtroom footage. Keison Wilkins, 33, was sentenced 42 years in prison for felonious assault, being a felon in possession of a weapon, and firing a gun into a habitation. I’m sure he was shocked when the verdict came down — faking a heart attack in court probably seemed like a foolproof way to get himself acquitted. [C&D]

• Jesse Jackson might have called Barack Obama “the n-word” during the unaired portion of the soon-to-be infamous tape that is in Fox’s possession. As soon as it leaks, which it inevitably will, we’ll know the truth. Fabulous. [Gawker]

• Young Berg’s music sucks. Oh, and so does he. [NB]

• 50 Cent’s battle — it isn’t even a child-support battle anymore — with his son’s mother keeps getting uglier and uglier. [AHH]

• John McCain should work a little harder on those campaign ads and at least attempt to act as if he’s living in the 21st century. [TS]

• This sounds like the worst barbecue ever. [C&D]

Al Sharpton pleaded not guilty to a charge of disorderly conduct yesterday. He was arrested, along with about 30 others, during a May protest of the Sean Bell verdict, prior to which he had threatened to “shut down New York City.” Sharpton and his National Action Network also threatened to protest at the MLB All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium, but decided against it because he is “reasonably confident” appropriate legislation will be passed. “We are not jail freaks. We don’t love handcuffs,” Sharpton said after his hearing. “We are trying to move toward some kind of permanent change.” [EUR]

Monsier R, nee Richard Makela, is a French rapper who might be sent to jail for doing the sort of thing that American rappers do all the time. A court recently agreed to consider a complaint lodged by a conservative MP against Monsieur R. Why? Because the rapper referred to France as a “slut” in the song “FranSSe” off of his latest album, Politikment Incorrekt.

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DMX was arrested for the millionth time this year, this time as soon as he got off the plane in Arizona. He was returning from a jaunt to Miami, where he had been arrested for trying to buy cocaine and marijuana from an undercover officer. The rapper was arrested at the Phoenix airport on outstanding drug and driving charges, for which he is being held for over $10,000 jail. [AP]

Gym Class Heroes frontman Travis McCoy was performing “Peace Sign” on stage with his group during the St. Louis Warped Tour stop when a black audience member called him a “fucking ignorant nigger.” That’s when things went downhill.

McCoy calmly asked the man, “What did you just call me?” As security was removing him from the crowd, the frontman reached down and broke his microphone over the man’s head. McCoy immediately apologized for his reaction and said it wasn’t representative of him as a person. “I’m sorry. But when someone calls you something that ignorant and that offensive, you have to bash their head in with a microphone,” said McCoy.

McCoy was arrested on stage at the end of the group’s set on one charge of third-degree assault. The dude who got a microphone busted over his head remains anonymous. [RS]

Makeda Barnes-Joseph, Remy Ma’s babysitter-turned-shooting victim, is on a litigious rampage, filing a $10 million suit against Remy Ma, who likely has $10 million dollars like I have $10 million dollars, Universal Music Group, and Manhattan’s The Pizza Bar, which is where the two were partying the night of the shooting. She says the label encouraged Remy’s violent behavior and lyrics and the bar kept serving her drinks even though she was “visibly” intoxicated. Remy Ma, despite a creative escape attempt, is now on year one of an eight-year sentence for the shooting. [SS]