Party boy and occasional comedian Pauly Shore is taking a cue from bitter hatemongers and blaming his anemic career on his skin color (or lack thereof). “I need to be black,” Shore recently told an interviewer, “because if I was black, I’d be doing good.” Well, Pauly. You’d be doing well. And no, you wouldn’t.

Shore continued: “White people are screwed. Especially in my industry, they’re screwed. White people are going to be picking cotton within, like, literally within three years.” Brilliant! How is this guy not getting hired?

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