• Jay-Z gets the Vogue Italia treatment. No comment. [Bossip]

• Nas releases his first video off of Untitled. No offensive t-shirts. [CL]

• Nick Cannon rushed into marrying Mariah Carey to avoid lots of awkward questions from his friends. For the record, this isn’t a good reason to rush into marriage. [SP]

• Here’s your chance to let the Democratic Party know what’s on your mind. [WAOD]

• This dude’s idiotic and so is his op-ed. [JJP]

Nick Cannon has been painted as a puppy dog who follows Mariah Carey around with eager eyes and fetches whatever she needs to have fetched. If this is indeed the case, he’s definitely enjoying it being the puppy to MC’s master. To each his own!

At the opening of Las Vegas’s Christian Audigier The Nightclub Friday, Cannon said his marriage is “amazing.”

“It’s the best thing that ever happened to me,” Cannon, who was sporting his wedding band, told PEOPLE.

Trouble in Nick-And-Mariahdise? According to “sources,” the newlyweds are never going to last. Did we need an anonymous source to tell us that?

“I give the marriage six months, tops,” said a source close to the singer. “I can’t see it lasting.”

The insider claims that the reason behind that gloom-and-doom prediction is Nick’s need to do everything for his diva bride. While Mariah likes being waited on hand and foot, that routine won’t work in the long run.

“Nick does whatever Mariah wants him to — he’s like her puppy,” the insider continued. “It seems like Nick spends more time in the stores with Mariah’s credit card than he does with Mariah herself.”

Oh. I thought our reliable source was going to tell us that they don’t get along, or that they only married because the sex was good, or that it was all a publicity stunt. But Nick Cannon paying excessive amounts of attention to his more famous, more rich wife? Sounds like a match made in heaven for both of them. [MSNBC]

The biggest sacrifice a couple makes when they decide to clandestinely marry on a random Bahamian island after knowing each other for approximately 38.5 seconds is that they have to forgo the gifts that their many guests would have given them if they hadn’t had a secret wedding. But Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon seem unwilling to accept those consequences. Rumor has it Mariah’s assistant has been dropping not-so-subtle hints to her boss’s industry friends.

According to Page Six: “Mariah’s assistant, Gina, sent out over 100 e-mails to her wealthy friends letting them know that she’s registered at Bergdorf Goodman if they want to buy her a present. It’s odd because she’s not even having a big wedding party or anything. It was assumed they’d have a big celebration when they got back, but no. They just want the gifts.” Hmmm, what do you get for the woman who could buy everything on her gift registry without putting a dent in her bank account?

• I want to be Jonathan Vargas when I grow up. [N&V]

• Mimi wasn’t trying to ruin Nick Cannon’s boy’s night out a few nights ago, she just needed an assistant at her photo shoot. [Bossip]

• I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: promoting a movie means throwing your dignity out the window. [Str8NYC]

• Tina Turner says Beyonce’s not “rock and roll.” Beyonce would probably agree. [SR]

• Diddy’s making millions off of his partnership with Ciroc vodka. If only he actually liked to drink it. [TMZ]

DUTY CALLS When your wife is 10 years older than you and at least 10 times richer, I’m guessing that when she says jump you have to say “how high.” Nick Cannon was having fun with Diddy and Quincy Jones at the MGM Grand Foxwoods opening this weekend until Mariah called and broke up the fun. “He was summoned home by her at 1 in the morning,” a source told Page Six. “He didn’t look happy about it.”

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon threw what appears to be an elaborate-but-sparsely-attended wedding party/photo op at Six Flags Magic Mountain Tuesday. The photos, like the general concept, are nausea-inducing. Aren’t these two a little too talented to be fashioning themselves into Heidi and Spencer from The Hills?

• Iman will grace the cover of Vogue Italia’s all-black issue. I was hoping they would highlight someone new, but I understand. [Fashionista]

• More wedding photos and gushing commentary from the weirdest newlyweds ever. I can’t believe Nick Cannon got that huge “Mariah” tattoo on his back. [NB]

• Negative, Tina. Negative. [DL]

• A juror on a marijuana possession trial was caught smoking weed during a recess and arrested. You can’t make this stuff up folks. [C&D]

• Foxy Brown’s Jet cover looks, uh, hastily executed. And that’s all I have to say about that. [RWS]

With every nugget of proof that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are actually joined in holy matrimony, I become more and more incredulous. The pictures, however, speak for themselves. The two did not avoid the camera last night at Time’s 100 Most Influential People in the World party, where Mariah Carey was honored and performed. John McCain, who, along with Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, was also an honoree, showed up with a big, yellow-ish smile on his face. He was the only candidate who actually had time.

[WI]

So far, we’ve been going off of a lot of hearsay on this Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey marriage. But now the ever-diligent People has an actual wedding photo its latest cover, with an extra little swimsuit-clad beach picture in the bottom corner. Mariah in a veil and Nick in a cheesy smile? This is real, folks. Oh, and there are also quotes:

“We really do feel we are soulmates,” Carey tells PEOPLE, following their sunset ceremony at the pop star’s Bahamian estate. “I never felt a love like this was in the cards for me.”

Cannon adds: “She is beautiful on the outside and 10 times as beautiful on the inside.”

Poets they aren’t, but if they’re really in love, how can you help but to be happy for them?

If you want to see where the first sparks of love were fabricated began between Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon in late March, look no further than the newly-released video for “Bye Bye,” which Cannon stars in and directed. The video is cheesy Mariah at her cheesiest, but it is fortunate that she decided to get all amorous on the set of this video instead of the during the filming of “Touch My Body,” which stars Kenneth from 30 Rock as her love interest.

DID THEY OR DIDN’T THEY? As residents of the island of Eleuthera in the Bahamas become more aware that the celebrity wedding that occurred in their hometown could prove to be lucrative, more and more secrets are coming out about Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey’s random ass wedding Wednesday. A source confirms that Carey did file for a Bahamian wedding license, another source said she provided flowers, which were requested on the same day as the ceremony, and a Cannon family member said she heard news of the wedding from the lucky groom’s mouth. But here’s a troubling sign: a representative from the island’s registrars office said that there had been no license filed under Carey or Cannon’s name. [MTV]

Forget the engagement rumors — a source “close to Nick Cannon” tells Latina magazine that Cannon and Mariah Carey got married yesterday in a private ceremony on a small island. The wedding was “very impulsive,” says the source. There were a few close friends in attendance, including Da Brat. Uh, congrats?

As far back as the 2005 Teen Choice Awards, it looked like Nick Cannon might have had a thing for Mariah Carey. These days, sources are confirming the rumor that the unlikely pair is engaged. This all seems very uncharacteristic of MC, but not so much Nick Cannon. Not only does he have a history of hasty, suspiciously-timed engagements (see his relationship with Selita Ebanks… also see the ring he gave Selita Ebanks), he also has a history of pulling women of a far higher level of attractiveness or fame than one would expect. He must be really charming in person.