• Kanye West does comedy, promotion with Absolut. Drink responsibly. [AHH]

• The Hughes brothers are trying to create the next big crime show on HBO now that The Wire is gone. [C&D]

• 50 Cent is not content to let Lil Wayne be the big seller of 2008. [MTV]

• Really, Lauren London? [SR]

• Tyler Perry vacations with Oprah and Gayle. [CL]

That somebody would select James Frey’s new book Bright Shiny Morning as a must-read this summer shouldn’t be all that surprising — the reviews have been generally positive. That the somebody would be Gayle King, special friend to Oprah, is. When Good Morning America’s Diane Sawyer asked her to recommend some sunshine-y reading material, King plugged two books: Scott McClellan’s What Happened, and Frey’s Morning, adding that she even liked A Million Little Pieces.

Frey spectators would be right to question King’s motives.

CONTINUED »

Remember when everyone was stupidly saying that Oprah’s vocal support of Obama is the reason her ratings declined this year? There are a lot of reasons that’s a wrong opinion for people to have, but even if Obama was detrimental to the talk show Queen’s rep, apparently she just don’t give a fuck:

CONTINUED »

Getting Oprah to shill your goods is “the gold standard” in marketing and PR. So how come an industry built on busting through the clutter of consumer pitches doesn’t quite understand the Oprah machine? That’s the only reason we could find for AdAge’s expose on the matter. Or maybe top-ranking publicists do get the Oprah/Harpo juggernaut, and this primer on landing your book, lotion, or motor vehicle on her talk show, magazine, or satellite radio program is a waste of copy. But perhaps not.

CONTINUED »

IT AIN’T THE DEF JAM DETOX, BUT… Oprah Winfrey is forgoing meat for 21-days and doing her normal Oprah duty to promote the hell out of the the people — Quantum Wellness author Kathy Freston and Canadian motivational speaker Eckhart Toll — who inspired her. Now their sales will probably multiply with every pound the O loses. But it’s not about weight, Oprah wrote on her blog. “This 21-day cleanse gives me a chance to think about [eating] differently and see what my attachments are to certain kinds of foods – and what I’m willing to do to change. Don’t know if I’m going to feel better or worse, but I’m willing to try to see if my body at least feels differently.” Countless women across the world just emptied their freezers. [People]

Oprah Winfrey reluctantly — her producers made her do it, she said — surprised her guests Friday with “Oprah’s favorite Things for the Summer.” Predictably, the audience freaked the hell out, even though her summer pickings were pretty measly (think grills, makeup, a turkey burger recipe, and that damned A New Earth book she won’t stop talking about) compared with this winter’s favorite things. But maybe some of the audience excitement had to do with the fact that the Rachel Pally Swing Turtleneck and Sailor Pants combo didn’t make the list.

People’s recent decision to put every single cover since 1974 in an online archive was a brilliant move that other magazines should copy. Instantly. It is such a treasure trove of information. I mean, “The Night That Rock Cried?” That right there is serious music history. And if you’re in the mood, search “Oprah Winfrey” and count the weight fluctuations.

Many television show producers are shaking in their boots around this time, wondering if their beloved shows will be renewed by their networks for another season. But not Oprah Winfrey. When you’re Oprah Winfrey, you take it upon yourself to cancel your own show due to disappointing ratings, even if the network wants another season. Winfrey & Co. have chosen to discontinue the philanthropic reality show, Oprah’s Big Give, “which never really pushed past 10 million viewers.”

“We loved that show and absolutely would have loved to bring it back,” said ABC entertainment president Steve McPherson. “But it was something [Oprah] didn’t want to do.”

Black Enterprise named Oprah Winfrey’s Harpo the company of the year in its June issue. In the mag, Oprah talks about her “winning formula.” Don’t get your hopes up — the No. 1 ingredient is probably, “being Oprah Winfrey.”

Time’s annual list of the World’s 100 Most Influential People is out, and Tyler Perry, Jacob Zuma (president of the African National Congress), Chris Rock, Herbie Hancock, Mariah Carey, Mo Ibrahim (Sudanese-British mobile communications mogul), Barack Obama and Oprah Winfrey made the cut. Check out the full list here. Who do you think was overlooked? Who doesn’t belong? All I know is, if one of the world’s most influential people is also the sort of person who marries a two-bit comedic actor/rapper after knowing him for a month, then I’m scared for the world.

Oprah Winfrey joined Chicago’s infamous Trinity Church of Christ in the 80s, and after sporadic attendance, completely stopped showing up in the mid-90s. Why? It’s wasn’t entirely because of Rev. Jeremiah Wright, reports Newsweek, but he was definitely a factor in her decision. “According to two sources, Winfrey was never comfortable with the tone of Wright’s more incendiary sermons, which she knew had the power to damage her standing as America’s favorite daytime talk-show host.”

According to the magazine’s anonymous sources, although Oprah Winfrey wasn’t surprised by Wright’s sermons, she recognized that “her audience is very mainstream, and doing anything to offend them just wouldn’t be smart.” Or maybe she just didn’t like the church? Who knows. But if she did leave the church because she foresaw some potential scandal, I’m sure she wishes that Obama had done the same. [EUR]

You will look back on today’s momentous occasion – the one-for-the-history-books return of Tom Cruise to Oprah – and think of but one thing: Tom Cruise is a victim! Everybody has been out to get this cultist zealot, and all those jokes about him brainwashing Katie Holmes and inseminating her with L. Ron Hubbard’s semen have been entirely unfair to him and his family. It takes the power of Oprah to set the record straight, even if that’s where he shed his veil of normalcy to begin with. So let’s get to the defensive mechanisms:

CONTINUED »

What to do when you’re Queen Oprah and your favorable ratings are down? Resurrect a sure thing, that’s what. For sweeps week, Oprah will interview Tom Cruise, who, if you recall, was sort of insane the last time he entered the Harpo Studios. This time, she’s going to talk to him at his Telluride, Colo., house, so if he goes all crazy again he’ll fuck up his own couch. [E!]

OPRAH MIGHT FINANCE GAYLE KING’S LIFESTYLE, BUT THEY ARE NOT GAY! Gayle King really doesn’t want gay rumors to discourage men from asking her out on dates. It’s hard enough finding a man as it is, she told Dave Letterman recently.

King laughed off reports she and best friend Oprah Winfrey were more than friends. After joking about how she got all dolled up to be on the show (”are you looking at my breasts?”), King, divorced with kids, told Dave she has a hard enough time getting a date on a Saturday night without men thinking she’s already spoken for. “Now I have to explain: Look, I’m available!”

Thanks to her gazillionaire, platonic best friend, finding a date is probably the only thing that’s hard for her. She’s certainly had no problem finding an apartment in Manhattan. [HP]