How to Make Your Fat Child Unfat
by my mama, nana and possibly generations of women prior

1. Tell child that s/he is fat. Comment on appetite and expanding girth.
2. Do cabbage soup diet and Master Cleanser and get BMI down to ~18
3. Poke child's fat, perhaps publicly. Perhaps poke another child's non-fat body and compare the two.
4. Buy only lite foods and produce. Low cal produce. None of that corn.
5. Repeat step 2-4 frequently. Buy diet pills and laxatives. Leave them out. Perhaps do weekly weigh-ins. Compare your weight to that of your child. Make sure to mention that your metabolism is slower due to aging and that you've had X number of pregnancies yet you are Y lbs thinner than Fattie McFatterson. If your child is even slightly ambitious, s/he has serious body image issues that will evolve into an eating disorder.
6. Reward child's thinness and excessive exercising with money and love.

Get with the program, people.

I really want to laugh at that, but it just makes me sad b/c I know ppl who do that kind of stuff. Although no. 3 did get a chuckle.

my mom would be totally embarrassed if she knew i was posting this, but whenever my sis and i reached for seconds, my mom would say, "oh, help yourself, petunia pig."

it worked, albeit in a damaging way.

those are all great suggestions for making your child anorexic, on the other hand. parents like that would probably say "at least s/he wouldn't be fat!"

who knew that "welfare queens" didn't "enjoy the lifestyle"? hm… everyone? okay, more like "not enough people"….

Those "ignorant red necks" are suffering from the same economic-nutritional forces. It's the tight-fisted wealthy of all colors hurting the rest of us.