People, if you have any plans to ever become president, burn your kindergarten homework assignments. Now! Because when your opponent finds your essay entitled, "I Want To Be A G.I. Joe When I Grow Up," he or she is totally going to bash your anti-war platform.

Hillary Clinton's campaign dug down to the bottom of the barrel, I mean, way down to the bottom, to disprove Obama's recent assurance that he has not been plotting his presidential run for as long as his opponents. The evidence: in both kindergarten and the third grade, little Barry Obama wrote essays entitled, "I Want To Become President." He might as well bow out of the race right now. Is it necessary to mention that saying you want to become president when you're five — or even 25 — and actually planning to run are two very different things?