We've only got five years to prepare for this, and we should have started, like, yesterday. In 2012, when her contract is up, Oprah Winfrey is leaving her show. I know! It's hard for me to wrap my brain around, too. And her post-television host gig? Catching child predators, according to an interview she did with Larry King Tuesday.

If she has to go, and I guess it wouldn't have made sense for her to host her show until the day she died, devoting her life to a noble cause is in keeping with my super hero (that I love and sometimes love to hate) vision of Oprah, and I approve. I imagine Oprah scouring the country in a child predator-catching uniform, which, in my head, is Indiana Jones-esque, busting down doors and making citizen's arrests. Maybe Gayle can be her sidekick. In reality, she will probably be putting her dollars and influence behind better legislation, but I like my vision better.

[AH]