• Call Bill O’Reilly! In Michelle Obama’s 1985 senior thesis, she said the Princeton community at large didn’t make her feel like she belonged. More proof she’s unpatriotic! [CBS]

• Michael Jackson stands to lose Neverland Ranch if he doesn’t fork over $24 million. Someone just take the property away from him, already. Does he even want it? [People]

• A federal judge says that Britney Spears’ civil rights have not been violated. Guess one former pop star was not a part of Dr. King’s dream. [Reuters]

• Maybe Gary can smear a little bit of that I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter he’s shilling on his hands? [RL]

• Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher have teamed together to produce a brand new reality show that is sure to be like nothing you’ve ever seen before. “Variety reports that the show is understood to revolve around beautiful people living in a house together.” [EW]

P.S. Welcome Cord to the Stereohyped fam!