True, I have absolutely no love for Polow Da Don, aka King of the White Girls, aka Crown Prince of the Misogynist Rap/Pop Producers, aka Count of Stupidity, but that doesn't mean I wanted him to be robbed of his ostentatious jewelry. So I almost shed a tear when I found out that dear Polow was recently the victim of theft in his hometown of Atlanta. Almost. Because it turned out that he wasn't robbed, exactly. It's sort of complicated. I'll let Polow explain it all in this official statement he released today:

Yall heard about the situation last night? “Haha” They thought they came to rob me, but I have heart and I have God shawty… Nah these crack head ass niggaz I guess called themselves robbing me, but we robbed them…… I wasn’t scared I was mad. I was likes “these dumb ass weak ass niggas”….. Niggas don’t get it…. you gone have to shoot me because until then, I dont belive you. I am a MAN…. and 9 times out of 10 a nigga calling himself a Robba, a Thug or a Gangsta is a cover up for being too weak(weather it be physically, spiritually or mentally) to be a man. It’s hard to learn how to be a MAN… Luckily my teacher stuck with me….Thanks Dad, I LOVE YOU!!!!!! Kids…”Do you know where your father is right now?”

–Polow da Don!!!®
Zone-4-Inc–©

Okay, so I guess that explained nothing. Although his writing helps to reinforce my opinion about his level of intelligence. And thank God for his dad's valuable lessons, or else our guy might be short a chain and a bedazzled watch right about now. [SR]