If R. Kelly and his handlers knew what was good for him, he would always steer clear of any and all interviews. Since many signs point to R. Kelly not knowing what's good for him — although it rarely matters in the end — he sat down with BET's Toure to have a little discussion about his alleged predilection for teenage girls. Kelly's take: When you fire people, they like to accuse you of being a pedophile. Even when they are related to you. Also, he has 19-year-old friends. Sue him! Transcript and video after the jump. Don't worry, it made my head hurt, too.

Toure: Let me ask you something real that millions of Americans are thinking about and wondering about you. Do you like teenage girls?
Kelly: When you say teenage, how old are we talking?
Toure: Girls who are teenagers.
Kelly: 19?
Toure: 19 and younger.
Kelly: I have some 19-year-old friends, but I don't like anybody illegal if that's what we're talking about, underage.
Toure: Uh-huh. Some people think that you like underage girls. What do you say to that?
Kelly: Those people don't know Robert. They don't know me. I usually don't get into what people think about me, because all my career — even before the trial — people had their opinions about Robert, you know. That's probably because, it had a lot to do with me kind of shying away from the crowd, 'cause I'm always in the the studio, digging deep into the basement all the time of my house, creating music. So when people don't know you, they can't touch you like they could someone else. They seem to form opinions or have thoughts about you that they like to, you know, think.
Toure: Some of the people who've worked with you have said there's an issue here. Your former manager has said publicly there's an issue of concern here. Your brother Carey has said there's an issue of concern here.
Kelly: Issue of concern? What do you mean when you say issue of concern?
Toure: They said that they're concerned that you like underage girls.
Kelly: Let me put it to you this way, man. It's unfortunate that people who don't work for me says that the people that do work for me don't say that, and the people who don't work for me were fired. If you have someone work for you and they're mad 'cause they're not working for you anymore and used to getting a certain amount of money or a certain amount of fame because they work for you, because you're famous, and all of a sudden they mess you around and you let them go — anything that comes up about you, they're gonna run and say, "Yeah, he did that to me! I knew this, too, about him." But you really can't, you know — I don't want you, I want my fans: Do not list to the people that was fired. Don't even listen to the people that was hired. Listen to the facts, and get into what you think and make your own opinion. If you're gonna have an opinion about me, have your own opinion of what you think about me. What you definitely don't do is go by somebody that was fired and mad and pissed off about you because they were fired.
Toure: But your brother Carey was not fired. He's your brother.
Kelly: He was fired.
Toure: But he's still your brother.
Kelly: Doesn't matter. He's still my brother, but if he's so my brother [then] why'd he get fired?
Toure: Why did he get fired?
Kelly: I can't get into that. … Unfortunately, it's like this: When you're me, when you're R. Kelly, everybody wants a piece of you, and if you don't give 'em a piece they'll find a way to get a piece of you one way or the other. I've been blackmailed a billion times in my career — before the trial, during the trial, after the trial — I've been sued for stuff that … ridiculous things, you know. At one point in my life, I was an ATM machine, you know. People would come up and push whatever, and if it don't come out they'll go tell somebody this or they'll go run and say this, run and say that. I'm used to that. I'm, you know — you don't get used to it. Let me take that back. I'm not used to it, but I'm used to the fact I know people will do this, sometimes even your own family members. I don't hate no one of 'em, but I know a lot of people will be out to get me 'cause I'm very vulnerable, man, especially during a seven-year trial.
Toure: So there's no issue here? They're all wrong, there's no issue here — that's what you're saying?
Kelly: It depends on who you say "they're all," and what they're saying.