Brave New Films asks an important question of all of us: What would you do with $3 trillion dollars? George W. Bush started an awful war with that amount, but that's not the only option, trust me!

THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT A Denver man was arrested after he went to the video store where his girlfriend worked, threatened to kill her, and knocked over video displays. The beef? I would love to tell you they were arguing over which college their four year old would attend, but the dispute was really over which gang the young child would eventually join. The man, who is Hispanic, wanted their kid to be a Westside Baller, and the black girlfriend thought, naturally, that their kid should be a Crip. "They have different ideas on how the baby should be raised," said Commerce City police Sgt. Joe Sandoval. "Basically, she said they cannot agree on which gang the baby would 'claim.'" Are you going to call social services, Sgt. Sandoval, or should I? [EUR]

It's anything for a buck with Bobby Brown. Can't sell a record. Can't keep a reality show on air. What else is he to do but write what sounds to be a mean-spirited tell all about his life with Whitney Houston? Of course, he starts off the book by blaming Whitney for all the drugs.

"I never used cocaine until after I met Whitney. Before then, I had experimented with other drugs, but marijuana was my drug of choice," Brown writes in "Bobby Brown: The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing But," out next month. "At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably. I was using everything I could get my hands on, from cocaine to heroin, weed and cooked cocaine [Is that what we're calling it now? -- Lauren]."

Brown paints himself as the mostly innocent party in the relationship. He married Whitney for her love, he said. She married him because she was in the midst of a bisexual scandal — there were rumors that she was sleeping with her female assistant — and needed a high profile relationship. That certainly doesn't explain why she stayed with his ass for so long.

"[The marriage] was doomed from the very beginning. Within the first year we separated, with several more to follow," Brown writes. "I think we got married for all the wrong reasons. Now, I realize Whitney had a different agenda than I did when we got married . . . I believe her agenda was to clean up her image, while mine was to be loved and have children."

Oh, wait. Did I say innocent?

"I am guilty of sleeping with other women . . . Women are always throwing themselves at you. I'm only human, so I would make the mistake and bite the hook sometimes . . . I let the testosterone take over."

One of his most public indiscretions was an affair with former exotic dancer Karrine "Superhead" Steffans. "Yes, I've slept with her," he confesses. "Yes, I've spent several nights at her house. But she was only good for what her nickname stood for."

Well, that's better than being good for nothing, I suppose.

There's no question as to why wealthy people tend to live longer — they obviously have more money for health care, a balanced diet, and gym memberships, they live in safer neighborhoods, and they are less likely to smoke cigarettes — but the nation's affluent have made such great gains in their life expectancy rates that the life expectancy gap between the haves and have nots continues to grow wider. All the best efforts of health professionals to eliminate health disparities among people of different incomes, races, and ethnicities have not yielded the results they'd hoped for.

After 20 years, the lowest socioeconomic group lagged further behind the most affluent, Dr. Singh said, noting that “life expectancy was higher for the most affluent in 1980 than for the most deprived group in 2000.”

“If you look at the extremes in 2000,” Dr. Singh said, “men in the most deprived counties had 10 years’ shorter life expectancy than women in the most affluent counties (71.5 years versus 81.3 years).” The difference between poor black men and affluent white women was more than 14 years (66.9 years vs. 81.1 years).

Even among people with insurance, there are still the obvious racial health disparities that we hear about all of the time.

Pat Buchanan is just sick and tired of black people, from Barack Obama's infamous Rev. Wright to Barack Obama himself, talking about why they harbor a very specific sort of resentment for whites and are often generally displeased with the United States government. According to Pat Buchanan's syndicated column titled "A Brief for Whitey", we should be thanking white people. On our knees, no less. Because as bad as things might have been here, it could be worse. We could still live in Africa.

First, America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known.

Wright ought to go down on his knees and thank God he is an American…

We hear the grievances. Where is the gratitude?

It's time Pat learned that we aren't only bitter, irresponsible, lazy, inherently violent, and stupid, we are also totally ungrateful. So he shouldn't hold his breath waiting for that "thank you."

• This woman was cursed to become an insane MJ stalker the second her mother named her Billie Jean Jackson. [SP]

• Melanie Brown used her evil feminine wiles to trick Eddie Murphy into not using a condom. [SR]

• Juvenile didn't go to his daughters funeral, and he seems pretty okay with the decision. [NB]

• I don't know if you love The Wire as much as I do, but check out these top 15 moments anyway. [EW]

• There are so many things wrong with this. So, so many things. [CNN]

True, I have absolutely no love for Polow Da Don, aka King of the White Girls, aka Crown Prince of the Misogynist Rap/Pop Producers, aka Count of Stupidity, but that doesn't mean I wanted him to be robbed of his ostentatious jewelry. So I almost shed a tear when I found out that dear Polow was recently the victim of theft in his hometown of Atlanta. Almost. Because it turned out that he wasn't robbed, exactly. It's sort of complicated. I'll let Polow explain it all in this official statement he released today:

CONTINUED »

Pimp C is the most recent casualty of "syrup" abuse. Houston's infamous DJ Screw and Big Moe have also fallen victim to the sometimes-fatal mixture of promethazine and codeine, which is prescribed for severe colds and pneumonia. Despite the cautionary tales, syrup is extremely popular in the South. Just listen to a Lil Wayne song. MTV described his ubiquitous styrofoam cup as "the elephant of the room." But Wayne, who was arrested in Arizona last month after cops found 105 grams of marijuana, 29 grams of cocaine, and ecstasy on his tour bus, really wishes his friends and family would "do their research" before they tell him to stop consuming his favorite beverage.

CONTINUED »

• Bill Cosby and Hugh Hefner bond over jazz. And nothing else, I'm sure. [AP]

• Everyone OJ Simpson comes in contact with writes a book. That says a lot about the both Simpson and the company he keeps. [TMZ]

• Ladies, if any of you have friends who subscribe to "Baller Alert," please sit them down and give them a good talking to. [NB]

• The internet is buzzing with Kelly-Rowland-posing-in-Playboy-rumors. Since the internet is also buzzing with Kelly-Rowland-got-implants-rumors, I'm happy that Miss Kelly will be putting her new boobs to good use. In the fictional rumor world, at least. [C&D]

• Mystikal, who's been locked up for sexual battery since 2003, was just denied parole. I barely remember who that is. [RWS]

While we're discussing women putting their children in dangerous situations, we might as well mention Shanelle Monique Mosley, a 33-year-old mother of six who left her children, who range in age from 1 to 16, alone for a month while she flew off to Nigeria to marry a man she had met on the internet. When they were found by police, the children were starving and the older two didn't even know when their birthdays were. On top of it all, some idiot single dad had been leaving his two toddlers with the brood of starving, motherless kids while he was at work. Moseley has been charged with child endangerment and child abandonment. I hope her Nigerian fiance was worth the trouble. And her kids. [C&D]

This 25-year-old Texas man murdered and mutilated his 21-year-old girlfriend before cooking parts of her body and possibly eating them. He called the police himself, and when they arrived at his mother's home they found an ear boiling on the stove and a plateful of human flesh with a fork sticking out of it on the table.

Prior to alerting the authorities, the batshit-insane murderer also stabbed his ex-wife's boyfriend and showed his unsuspecting mom his girlfriend's mutilated body in her garage. [CNN]

A little girl in Detroit is being celebrated as a hero after she shielded her mother from an onslaught of bullets while they sat in a car at a gas station. The mother's ex-boyfriend shot the woman in the head, and when the first-grader threw herself over her mother's body, the man shot the child six times, in the head, chest, and arms.

"Officers said they found [the girl] huddled on the floor under the steering wheel, covered in blood, surrounded by spent cartridge casings, a spent bullet on the floor and teeth on the seat," the News reports. "There were bullet holes in the windshield and blood inside."

The suspect, Calvin/Kelvin Tillie, was arrested at the scene and taken to jail, although, from the looks of his rap sheet, I'm not sure why he wasn't already there already.

Both the girl and her mother are recovering at the hospital. [USAT]

I have a list of goals I made when I was in college with all the the things I want to accomplish by the age of 30. Nowhere on the list does it say "become a grandmother." And while I doubt that would be on any young person's list of goals, it's the reality for some women. Twenty-nine-year-old Leticia Magee is one of them. She had her daughter when she was 13, and the girl, now 15, has just given birth to a baby boy, who will hopefully be taught the virtues of condoms by age 7. Read 'em and weep.

Thanks, NOva

The man charged with vandalizing Tupac Shakur's Center for the Arts in Dekalb, Ga. and throwing a noose around his statue is 43 years old and African American, meaning he is both old enough and black enough to have known better than to do something stupid and hateful like that. That's not to imply that a white teenager shouldn't have also known better. I'm just saying. [SOHH]