The Video Music Awards aired on MTV last night for the 25th year in a row. I have come to two possible conclusions about the show. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive.
1) The VMAs are not good anymore.

2) I am too old to fully enjoy them.

For those of you who actually busied themselves doing something productive last night, here's a rundown of what you would have seen if you had more time on your hands: Lil Wayne hopping about the stage with T-Pain in an outfit that would have gotten him arrested in Rivera Beach and then hitting the stage again with Kid Rock, Kanye singing his new song "Love Lockdown" (people will be critical, and he will throw a tantrum), famous-in-the-UK host Russell Brand making a lot of political/chastity jokes and inspiring promise-ring-wearing Jordin Sparks to imply that those of us without promise rings are sluts, Rihanna performing twice, much to the delight of Chris Brown, MTV inexplicably scheduling good artists like Lupe Fiasco during commercial breaks, Christina Aguilera remixing Genie in a Bottle and then lip-syncing her new song, Jamie Foxx acting like an idiot, and a lithe Britney Spears woodenly accepting three pity awards. The end. Photos after the jump.

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• Here's a sneak peek of Kanye West's new clothing line, Pastelle. Don't say anything bad about it. He's sensitive. [Clutch]

• Anyone who takes medical advice from Grey's Anatomy needs to see a doctor. [Jossip]

• F. Gary Gray has signed on to direct the film version of Julius, an urban graphic novel based on the story of Julius Caesar. [DS]

• Of course Britney's back to perform at the VMAs. [MG]

• Oh, Laurie Ann. That's so unfortunate. [NB]

Here we go! The latest and greatest Obama attack ad out of John McCain’s camp not only juxtaposes the Democratic nominee with wearying tarts Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, it also resorts to one of the oldest scare tactics in the book: reminding everyone that Obama wants to raise taxes (possibly to fund his wife’s Black Panther arsenal? Nobody knows!).

It’s still only July, kids.

[McCain's campaign manager said during a conference call today that juxtaposing Obama with Spears and Hilton was nothing more than comparing "apples to apples." -- Lauren]

Christian Audigier, the designer to be blamed for Von Dutch trucker hats and the Ed Hardy brand, had a birthday party last week that was attended, inexplicably, by a very wide and random range of celebrities. Michael Jackson, Britney Spears, Snoop, etc. showed up weekend bash at the Petersen Automotive Museum in L.A.

• Call Bill O'Reilly! In Michelle Obama's 1985 senior thesis, she said the Princeton community at large didn't make her feel like she belonged. More proof she's unpatriotic! [CBS]

• Michael Jackson stands to lose Neverland Ranch if he doesn't fork over $24 million. Someone just take the property away from him, already. Does he even want it? [People]

• A federal judge says that Britney Spears' civil rights have not been violated. Guess one former pop star was not a part of Dr. King's dream. [Reuters]

• Maybe Gary can smear a little bit of that I Can't Believe It's Not Butter he's shilling on his hands? [RL]

• Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher have teamed together to produce a brand new reality show that is sure to be like nothing you've ever seen before. "Variety reports that the show is understood to revolve around beautiful people living in a house together." [EW]

P.S. Welcome Cord to the Stereohyped fam!

• Sometimes you're so rich, you let other people give your money away for you. [People]

• Mariah Carey's new single! [CL]

• I'm all about some Obama, but I think I draw the line at "Yes We Can" Air Force Ones. [Bossip]

• Girlfriends fans, get your Golden Brooks fix while you still can. [EUR]

• What to do when the courts take away your kids because you are mentally unfit. I know! Surround yourself with other people's kids. [MTV]

• Critics are accusing Ishmael Beah, who wrote A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier, of being from the James Frey school of memoirists. [AP]

• Beyonce made $27 million last years. Reverse those numbers to see how much Madonna made. [SOHH]

• Whose house? Not Run's house. [MG]

• Britney Spears is bat-shit insane. But we knew that. [Jossip]

• I don't wanna talk about the reverse Oreo. [TS]

• Ray J's foray into the world of porn didn't work out quite as well as he thought it would. [King]

• Tina Turner has absolutely nothing to say about Ike's death. No surprise there, though. [SB]

• Rapper Plies' enterprising manager was arrested after Florida police seized 80 lbs of cocaine from him and his associates. Since it wasn't crack, he should be out of jail in no time! [BS]

• Tyra Banks uses the Janice Dickinson defense. [US]

• I'm obsessed with "elfing" myself and others. It's not right, but it's okay. [EY]

50 Cent on how rappers are held to different standards than fallen pop stars:

"I guess they have their rules that apply individually to each artist separately: 'Oh no, he can't say that, 'cause he feels like that about that person,' " he said. "But it's not a rule that applies to everybody else. Matter of fact, my next single, I'm going to start it [with], 'It's Britney, bitch!' "

It's what all of the "mainstream" blogs have been waiting for — the end of Britney Spears' first week back on the album charts. It's probably not what her few remaining fans had hoped for — the comeback-that-wasn't ended with her in the No. 2 position behind The Eagles, with only 290,000 albums sold. Since I can't find the words to describe my feelings on this subject, I'll turn to the words of 50 Cent:

"Damn homie, in high school you was the man, homie
What the fuck happened to you?"

It sort of sums everything up.

And because the top of the Billboard 200 is completely devoid of either color or soul, I hit you with the Hip Hop/R&B album charts after the jump.

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Shar Jackson, best known for being K-Fed's jilted ex, is also making a name for herself on MTV's celebrity rap competition show. And while the actual program is like a lower-budget version of Dancing With The Stars, she has nevertheless allowed her relative success to get to her head.

Performing as Shar J on MTV's Celebrity Rap Superstar, Jackson gave a spirited performance on Thursday night of "Let It Blow," a rap she wrote herself.

With verse after verse extolling her many virtues, Jackson looked directly into the camera and rapped, "They should have had me open up at the VMAs!" – a sentiment that elicited screams of delight from the crowd.

Whoa there, Shar. So you're the best rapper on Celebrity Rap Superstar. Despite the show's title, that doesn't make you an actual celebrity, a rapper, or a superstar.

[People]

Mariah Carey, who admits she has absolutely no desire to speak to Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears, does have a few words of advice for Linds and Brit types in the new issue of Glamour.

When asked by Glamour what words of advice she would give Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears, she replied, "I wouldn't want to speak to those people specifically, but I would say you need to be very centered, and spiritually know where you're at, all the time. Don't read the tabloids. Don't be obsessed with what people are writing or saying. Live your life for you. My lifestyle has changed since making it. It's not a financial struggle, but I'm still struggling in a lot of ways."

Well, all know that there are more struggles than just financial ones. But when the money part is never an issue, it does make things a little easier, doesn't it?

[MTV via Jossip]