Good news for Coolio: He hasn't yet fallen so far down the proverbial ABC list that the phrase "You couldn't even get arrested in this town!" applies to him. [TMZ]

• Oh, if only this new song from Nas called "Black President" didn't make its appearance on something called The Nigger Tape. [NR]

• Looks like the Evander Holyfield Real Deal Grill wasn't the cash cow the boxer was hoping for. Maybe next time find a niche that hasn't been filled by another boxer? Oh, and handle your millions a whole lot better. [Bossip]

• Get with the times, Russian billionaires. [PS]

• A New Jersey congressman and former HRC supporter says that a top member of Clinton's staff called him to discuss "a strategy of winning over Jewish voters by exploiting tensions between Jews and African-Americans." [JJP]

• Bobby Brown's son says Whitney Houston was an evil stepmother who wouldn't even let him sleep in the main house. [HHC]

Cookin' With Coolio. What can I say? He's already on episode three of his cooking show, and, since I told you about the show when it was first announced, it's only right that I give you a sample of an episode.

Here's Coolio doing his best to terrify a little boy named Ethan while trying to convince the viewer that making sauteed spinach is some sort of major culinary feat.

We knew it was coming, but we were not ready. [XXL]

If I was at a restaurant and eating a delicious meal, I might have second thoughts about cleaning my plate if I found out the chef was an aging, few-hit wonder with pipe-cleaner braids jutting wildly from his scalp. Yet, somehow, for some reason, Coolio thinks he has quite a bit to offer in the way of cooking advice. Hence his new web cooking show, Cooking With Coolio.

From the press release:

Coolio is blazing new territory and taking on Martha Stewart, Rachel Ray and all other competitors by creating “Cookin’ with Coolio” for My Damn Channel. In this original weekly series, he will teach viewers to cook soul dishes that are fast, healthy and affordable. Using only the freshest ingredients from local supermarkets, Coolio will invite viewers into his home kitchen as he whips up Fall-Off-The-Bone Chicken, Soul Rolls and more. Coolio will be joined by two sexy soux chefs, “The Sauce Girls,” and by celebrity friends. “Cookin’ with Coolio” will be produced by Dead Crow Pictures.

“When it comes to the kitchen, I’m on a mission,” Coolio said. “I’m the neighborhood ghetto witch doctor superhero and I’m gonna make you forget about every other cooking show you’ve ever seen.”

Scrumptious! Wait until the Food Network gets a load of this. They're going to snatch him right up.

If only I had the power to close the book on the Reality TV aspirations of has-beens, I would. I swear I would. Unfortunately, there seems to be a spot at a network for anyone and everyone who is or was moderately famous. The newest: Coolio & the Gang. Can you guess what it's about?

Oxygen has greenlighted an unscripted series starring rapper Coolio that will follow his trials and tribulations as he tries to balance his work with his role as a single parent raising six teenagers.

The network has ordered six half-hour episodes of the series, titled "Coolio & the Gang," set to air in second-quarter 2008. Oxygen will produce with RDF USA, whose reality credits include ABC's "Wife Swap," Fox's "Don't Forget the Lyrics" and Lifetime's upcoming "How to Look Good Naked."

Not to nitpick — I mean, a deal's a deal, especially when you're Coolio — but isn't Oxygen supposed to be a women's channel? Coolio doesn't exactly fit right in.

[HR]

Coolio was already in his 30s when he achieved success with "Fantastic Voyage." He was old enough to appreciate his newfound fame, but also old enough to have know better about that hair, which I believe is still his signature 'do.

This song is for anyone who wishes from time to time that a magical pimp would turn their bike into a clown car with an entire beach party in the trunk. And really, who doesn't?