• So this is what desperate, has-been reality stars do with their TV winnings. While the shirtless sales pitch might get Alton some unwanted emails, it probably won't inspire anyone to buy his scooter. [TMZ]

• I will never drink a beverage called Booty Sweat. [C&D]

• David Banner's fake campaign ad he made to publicize his new album might have been more effective if someone had told him one doesn't run for the position of Secretary of Homeland Security. [SR]

• Something tells me Lil Wayne will never have a tattoo-related change of heart like Skateboard P. [NB]

• Whites and old people don't like Michelle Obama, black people love her, and no one knows (or cares?) enough about Cindy McCain to form an opinion one way or another. [Time]

• Angela Bassett gets a new gig. [AHM]

• Wait, Reverend Wright had the chance to rip out the heart of a white devil and he didn't? Curiously, that goes against conclusions I would make based on what they say on cable news shows. [Wonkette]

• This is really just more than I ever wanted to know about David Banner. Also, I've always hated the way "pipe game" sounds. [NB]

• Star and Al divorced because Al made Star pay for everything. Well, naturally. That's how arrangements like theirs work. [C&D]

• 50 Cent continues to convince people that they want to buy the stuff he's selling. [MTV]

Have you ever thought about how crazy it is that all of these thousands of years have gone by and nothing interesting happens, then suddenly, in our lifetimes, the world starts making some history? If so, you're as idiotic as David Banner. Here's what he had to say about Barack Obama (and 9-11!!) recently.

“I would love to see a black president. Just for name’s sake, that would be cool in my generation the same way I would want to see the Patriots win, so I could say in my generation that we had something that hadn’t happened in history before…. The first black president was in my generation? Damn. We already had 9/11, we had a couple of wars, we got the worst president ever. Damn, a lot of shit happened. There's been thousands of years that nothing relevant has happened [Ed -- emphasis mine]. We done had about six or seven things there relevant in the generation that we’re living in. We’re living in a historical time, whether we like it or not.”

I want to like David Banner. I want to like David Banner because, on many levels, he seems like he cares. He's got a business degree from Southern University, he gives away scholarships in his CDs, he does quite a bit of charity work. But as much as the 34-year-old strives to improve the black community at large, he's also an apologist for all that is ignorant in the hip hop community. And that I just can't like. A profile in the December issue of XXL highlights these "warring" sides of his personality. In my opinion, one of them is winning out.

“Peep game: Why wasn’t Congress trying to [ban] the word ‘nigger’ in the ’60s?” Banner grins in an ain’t-that-funny way. “Now that we’re making money out of it, and calling ourselves niggas, they don’t want us to use it… I’ll tell you, ‘hip-hop’ is the new word for ‘nigger.’ When people say, ‘They’re dressing hip-hop,’ they should just say they mean ‘niggers.’”

But what does it mean when you say it, David Banner?

If it wasn't official this summer, it is official now. David Banner officially needs to close his mouth and not reopen it until he has something intelligent to say.

"Tip was feeding this man's family," Banner said of the bodyguard. "We don't do it like that, dog. We don't talk to them boys. However it went down, we sit down [and do the jail time,] where I'm from. Dude, you don't tell it. You hope the people you holding down is man enough to hold your people down. [The bodyguard] wasn't a convicted felon, my dude. He could have held [Tip] down. We gotta start making the environment in our neighborhoods not conducive to snitching. How I'm doing this song, I'mma make it uncomfortable for snitches."

Banner admitted that he does not know the specifics of the case but supports his friend regardless.

I don't know the circumstances of this bodyguard's relationship with T.I. any more than David Banner does. But I do know that if I'm ever in the position, I won't be taking the fall for my millionaire rapper boss because he likes to commit totally frivolous felonies between albums. Then again, I'd never take a position for which that sort of thing was implicitly required. Call me old fashioned!

After the jump, RZA and Akon (no way) talk some sense. Relatively speaking.

CONTINUED »

• I wonder how far "I'm sorry" goes in cases like this? [BN]

• John Edwards is the great white hope for the young African American male. According to him. [Fox]

• It's not like Beyonce really needs Malaysia. [IHT]

• Okay, David Banner is getting the hang of this "speaking in public" thing. [Reuters]

• No way! Blacks are more susceptible to another common ailment? I just don't believe it. [USN]

• Right, Taye Diggs. Like none of us saw that "McChocolatey" line coming. [People]

• Four Miami teens are charged with hate crimes in the beating and attempted drowning of a 22-year-old black man. [Local 10]

• Thank God David Banner decided to pre-write his statement at today's Congressional hearing on hip hop. [SP]

• Congrats to DMC on the Emmy win for his documentary about his journey to find his biological parents. [VH1]

• She was so fresh and cute before she came down with a case of fabulosity. [C&D]

Dear David Banner,

A weird little beef started between you and Al Sharpton this week. We all know why — he is waging a campaign against hip hop, and you think that he should worry about what's happening in the streets before he starts thinking about violent imagery and curse words in rap songs. By default, I agree with you. To a certain extent.

But your initial approach was way off. Telling a reverend to suck your dick is rarely an adequate way to effect change. At the same time, Kirsten John-Foy's rebuttal on behalf of Sharpton wasn't the most mature either.

CONTINUED »

And the beef goes on…

David Banner (aka Levell Crump) might have had second thoughts about the way he went at Al Sharpton in a recent interview. He retracted his previous statements, choosing to write a "more thought out" open letter that he says will better describe his feelings on the subject.
The only problem is, the open letter is really long. You're probably not going to want to read it.

After the jump, check out an excerpt from the portion directed at Al Sharpton. Unfortunately, Banner goes on a rant about black on black crime and cites the Newark shootings as example. I guess he didn't see that police fingered a group of Hispanic men for the crime. Oops.

CONTINUED »

Hmmm…after Kirsten's taunts, this is all David Banner is coming with?

Oh snap! Al Sharpton bites back at David Banner for his recent fighting words. Actually, it's National Action Network higher-up Kirsten John-Foy doing the dirty work. First bite? Calling David Banner by his government name (!), Levell Crump. Which is kind of a bold thing for a man named Kirsten to do. Interestingly neither Sharpton nor John-Foy seem to have taken any offense to the "permed-out pimp" allegation.

"From time to time we do encounter people that have sexual fantasies about Reverend Al Sharpton, but they are always women and Crump's proposition is a first," he told SOHH in a statement.

"However, in keeping with the National Action Network's Decency Initiative, I am sure Rev. Sharpton would not call Crump the "N" "B" or "H" word," Foy continued. "And, despite Crump's personal request, I am sure Reverend Sharpton would not call him an @#!*%&. He would just pray for him. We at NAN are pro civil rights for everyone, even Levell Crump who has not had a banner year since his debut album in 2003."

Second bite — going at Levell Crump's album sales! A Mississippi-themed Al Sharpton/Kirsten John-Foy diss record is in the works as we speak.

[SOHH]

Al Sharpton shouldn't really be surprised that his latest stunts haven't made him any new friends in the rap community. David Banner, for instance, would like someone to tell the good reverend that he is welcome to perform a sex act on him.

Sorry for the horrible mental image.

"The next time you see Al Sharpton, tell him I said @#*$ him and he can suck my dick," an animated David Banner exclaimed. "I might change the name of my album from The Greatest Story Never Told to @#*$ Al Sharpton. I hate Al Sharpton. This is the kind of @#!* that I'm talking about. They're killing kids in New Jersey and all across the country and all a @#*$% got to talk about is rap lyrics? @#*$ that about they're our elders and we gotta respect them. I'm tired of this. They're like the parents, but the parents are crucifying the kids.

"They tried to crucify Nelly and Akon…we need to come together because they're only doing this because we're not saying anything," Banner added. "He's [Sharpton] a permed-out pimp. Him and Jesse Jackson are out here charging people to do rallies with them. They're more worried about their investors than our kids. Tell him David Banner said it."

Banner's right on with the permed-out pimp description. A guy with hair like that shouldn't throw stones. It will come back at him every time.

[SOHH]