Chitlins are off the menu. They were keeping my weight up. Chitlins have been canceled off of my list, and I know my fans and friends are screaming 'Hallelujah!' I want to be around for a long time, so let's drop the chitlins.

-Aretha Franklin, on what she'll be cooking this Thanksgiving

According to the US Department of Labor, the unemployment rate for black teens is six times the national average, and almost 300,000 African American kids are actively seeking low-skill jobs for the upcoming summer and beyond. But many black teens looking for work in California have been caught off guard by a harsh new reality: if you don't speak Spanish, oftentimes you aren't finding minimum-wage employment.

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Not a single one of the sub-Saharan countries in Africa are on course to meet the United Nations Millennium Development Goals (MDGs), according to UN Secretary General Ban Kimoon. Kimoon called the lag a "development emergency."

Set in September of 2000, the eight MDGs are as follows: eradicating extreme poverty and hunger; achieving universal free primary education; gender equality and empowerment of women and reducing child mortality; improving maternal health; combating HIV/AIDS, malaria and other diseases; environmental sustainability and developing a global partnership for development. The UN had hoped the goals would be met by 2015.

Kimoon says that advances in specific goals in countries like Kenya and Ghana proves rapid achievement is possible, but stresses that increased foreign trade and investment are necessary for Africa's growth. Currently, the entire continent of Africa has a three percent share of the whole world's trading and investment. Unfortunately, poised to unravel the few but remarkable gains made over the last eight years is what Kimoon calls the "alarming" global food shortage, the scourge currently straining the good ol' US of A.

How are you like Oliver Twist? Give up? Similar to that famous fictional orphan, you can't have all the food you want, either. Why? Because the world is fucked!

Wal-Mart Stores Inc's Sam's Club warehouse division said on Wednesday it is limiting sales of several types of rice, the latest sign that fears of a rice shortage are rippling around the world.

Sam's Club, the No. 2 U.S. warehouse club operator, said it is limiting sales of Jasmine, Basmati and long grain white rice "due to recent supply and demand trends."

U.S. rice futures hitting an all-time high Wednesday on worries about supply shortages.

Not to worry, though: Sam's Club says they'll be supplementing the rice shortage with something called Groylent Seen. Eat up, you tired, weak, huddled masses.

• Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, you know what you need to do. If you're like me, you probably won't do it, though.

• So you're Thanksgiving dinner might have made you sleepy, but don't blame the turkey. The bird gets a bad rap.

• Drinking is good for you. Somewhere deep down, we all probably suspected this.

• Maybe it's time for everyone to just go the vegetarian route.

• This one's a break from the post-Thanksgiving drinking/eating theme. Click here only if you care about prehistoric, man-sized insects.

• It sounds like all you really have to do to get into Tyra Banks good graces is to give her a big slab of baby back ribs. [Jezebel]

• Nicole Richie announces her pregnancy and suddenly her boobs grow 2 sizes. [Us]

• Congrats to Tamia and Grant Hill on their new baby. [CBB]

• Diddy might be a lot of things, says Kim Porter, but he's not an physical abuser. [SP]

• If you're ever brainstorming Christmas gift ideas for Flavor Flav, scratch "lifetime supply of porn" off the list. [24/S]