Oy vey! Somebody tell Hasidic reggae man Matisyahu he – or at least his music – is no longer welcome in mother Israel. New haredi rabbinical rulings dictate that music with rock, rap or reggae influences will neither be allowed in wedding halls nor eligible for rabbinical approval.

The guidelines, which are still being formulated, also ban "2-4 beats and other rock and disco beats;" the "improper" use of electric bass, guitars and saxophones; and singing words from holy sources in a disrespectful, frivolous manner.

Mordechai Bloi, a member of Israel's Guardians of Sanctity and Education, sort of eliminated the vagueness of the guidelines with this: "Michael Jackson-style music has no place in our community … We might be able to adopt Bach or Beethoven, music with class, but not goyishe African music and beats."

Update: I was remiss in using the word "Israelis" in the title of this post, and I should have added "some parts of" between "in" and "mother" in the third line. Other than that, I stand by what I wrote. I'm sorry if you were misled.

We hope the GOP is taking this rhetoric as seriously as they did Jeremiah Wright's.

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Consequences of Barack Obama's speech, during which he said "Jerusalem will remain the capital of Israel, and it must remain undivided" — to the American Israel Public Affairs Committee: First Hamas withdraws its unofficial endorsement, surely to the delight of the Obama campaign, and now Libya's Muammar Gaddafi has announced that "his Kenyan friend" probably has a major inferiority complex because he's black. What these guys may or may not realize is that their criticism does nothing but help Obama amongst the sorts of Americans — whose vote he unfortunately needs — who think he's a secret Muslim terrorist.

"The statements of our Kenyan brother of American nationality Obama on Jerusalem… show that he either ignores international politics and did not study the Middle East conflict or that it is a campaign lie," he said.

"We fear that Obama will feel that, because he is black with an inferiority complex, this will make him behave worse than the whites."

"This will be a tragedy," Gaddafi said. "We tell him to be proud of himself as a black and feel that all Africa is behind him."

Obama certainly thanks Gaddafi for the pep talk, as well as his pronounced understanding of both American politics and Barack Obama himself. Somewhere in the How To Lose A U.S. Presidential Election manual, there's a chapter called "Speak Out Against Israel." Understandably, Obama isn't following that manual.

In Israel for the country's 60th anniversary yesterday, George W. Bush went on the attack, comparing Barack Obama and man in the Democratic party to Nazi appeasers. He's been blasted for the past 24 hours by analysts and Democratic politicians alike, who have questioned not only his presentation of the facts but the inappropriateness of presenting false, partisan attacks against American politicians on foreign soil. And also — Bush criticizing another's foreign policy? Please.

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Two weeks after Hillary Clinton said in an interview that as President she would send America's military to "totally obliterate" Iran were the Muslim nation to attack Israel, an Iranian cleric has responded with his own threats of violence.

Ahmed Khatami told a large crowd of followers Friday that he believes America is "fighting Islam," adding, "If the crazy people in Washington or Tel Aviv take any military action [against Iran], the Iranian nation will hit them with such a slap that they will not be able to get on their feet again."

Emboldened by Tuesday's primary victory and the bitter, armed and dangerous voters of Pennsylvania, Senator Hillary Clinton is now rattling her saber loud enough for the whole world to hear. Cower, brown people!

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