JANET JACKSON TO STAR IN THE SAME COMPETITION SHOW YOU'VE SEEN A MILLION TIMES Janet Jackson and MTV have inked a deal to film a reality show in which Janet Jackson searches for the next her, the next Justin Timberlake (!), or the next Usher. The show might (meaning that it most certainly will) have something to do with her upcoming tour. [Variety]

Janet Jackson, looking simultaneously comfortable and uncomfortable, walked the red carpet at last night's LA launch of the Cartier Love bracelet. She was joined by Jermaine Dupri and many others, including Ashanti. Is it wrong to say she's been looking really good lately when it's a known fact that she starves herself to look this way? I mean, at least when stars pretend like they eat hamburgers (or healthy servings of fish, chicken and veggies) for every meal, we can pretend, too.

• Just in case you were still worrying about the possibility that there really is a video of Michelle Obama referring to "whitey" floating around. [AN]

• Janet Jackson's label has ceased all promotion for her newest album, so don't expect another single. [SP]

• Snoop delivers marital advice to Beyonce and Jay-Z. Okay. [People]

• Does Bobby Brown still have delusions of grandeur? Yep? Just checking. [C&D]

• In addition to smoking copious amounts of crack, Amy Winehouse knows racist versions of childrens' songs as well. [GW]

JANET'S TOUR IS COMING THIS FALL Janet Jackson announced the first five stops on her much-anticipated "Rock Witchu" tour, which includes three stops in Canada, one in DC and one in New York City. It begins on September 10th and tickets go on sale on June 7th at livenation.com [EUR]

A dramatically-dressed (in Alexander McQueen), JD-less Janet Jackson walked the blue carpet at the opening of the Alexander McQueen flagship store in LA. Perhaps the pleasant look on her face came from the knowledge that her big brother had successfully avoided today's planned foreclosure auction of Neverland Ranch. Then again, that's pretty much how her face looks all the time. Joy Bryant, Eve, and Tracee Ellis Ross joined Janet in the high-fashion festivities. Inexplicably in attendance: Bishop Don Magic Juan.

One of the most glamorous annual events in New York City, the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, was held last night. As usual, the stars showed up to the party — this year's theme was "Superheroes: Fashion and Fantasy" — in all of their designer finery, and as usual, some gowns were finer than others. Loads more pics after the jump.

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Say what you will about her personality and, uh, wardrobe, Mariah Carey is a force to be reckoned with in the pop world. It's undeniable. Her album, E=MC2 sold 463,000 to open at No. 1 on the Billboard 200, bumping Leona Lewis to second place. Not only is it Mariah's biggest debut sales week ever, it's also the largest of the year, and she is now tied with Madonna and Janet Jackson for the second most No. 1 albums of any female artist. Barbara Streisand holds the title, and Madonna will probably pull ahead of Janet and Mariah with her newest album. Still, Mimi's doing big things.

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What goes up must come down, and the Jacksons, who once seemed on top of the world, have mostly hit rock bottom. Many of them are, according to the NY Post, "barely scraping by."

• Marlon, 51, works at Von's Supermarket in San Diego and lives in an extended-stay hotel.

• Randy, 46, does odd jobs, including repairing cars, and holds onto the "pipe dream" that Michael is going to give him $1.7 million.

• Jackie, 56, is trying to manage his son Siggy's rap career after his clothing business and producing career failed.

• Jermaine, 54, splits his time between his girlfriend's house and his mother's, where Randy and Jackie still live. He also named his son Jermajesty, but that's neither here nor there.

• Tito, 55, is the only brother still making music, but he only nets about "$500 and $1,500 per occasional gig."

• Joe, 79, reportedly spends much of his time dreaming up get-rich-quick schemes — to no avail, obviously.

Janet Jackson, who clearly and sadly, bears the weight of her whole clan on her more successful and competent shoulders, has already bought her mother a house in Las Vegas in anticipation of the family losing its expansive estate in Los Angeles. It seems that the brothers are holding out hope for a reunion tour with their more famous, slightly-less-financially-bankrupt, but probably-more-morally-bankrupt brother — who apparently contributed to their downfall by signing them to his label and refusing to ever release their music — although it's highly doubtful he will ever agree to such an arrangement. I mean, we all know that he's got his own issues.

Show me a black girl (or guy) who was of a video-watching age in 1994, and I'll show you a girl (or guy) whose world was rocked by the "If" video. He or she might even know the choreography but hopefully can perform it with more grace than Tyra Banks.

• India.Arie is Broadway-bound and set to appear in a revival of Ntozake Shange's famous For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When the Rainbow Is Enuf. [EW]

• What do Jack Johnson and Eliot Spitzer have in common? [Root]

• Remy Ma is calculating and irresponsible, says the prosecution in her shooting trial. [MTV]

• HBO has ordered 13 episodes of a series based on Jill Scott's movie, The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency. She'll star of course in the show, of course. [DV]

• Janet Jackson's in the hospital with the flu. Buy her album to make her feel better, would you? [E!]

Janet Jackson does it again, taking the top spot on the Billboard chart after selling 181,000 copies of her new album, Discipline. This marks Jackson's sixth time at the peak position, but her first since 2001's All for You.

Erykah Badu came in second with her record, Amerykah, which moved 123,900 units.

Fourth was a band named Webbie, of whom I've never heard. And I'm now officially my father.

The complete Top 10 is after the jump.

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Uh, I guess the clip above explains this picture.

After the jump, watch Tyra explain what a "whore bath" is and then sniff Janet Jackson's armpits. If you're guessing that Janet looks pretty uncomfortable throughout, you're a good guesser!

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• The Larry King Live producer who dreamed up this bright idea should either be promoted or fired, I can't decide which. [Jossip]

• Since when does Joseph Conrad work for NPR? [PO]

• Cassie's really an all-purpose commodity for Diddy, isn't she? I wonder if she cooks, too. [CL]

• I wouldn't expect anything more from Rush Limbaugh, but this black guy should really be ashamed of himself. [JJP]

• Naomi Campbell is out of the hospital! Mysteriously, her publicist has now gone missing. [People]

Next Tuesday, Tyra Banks, ex-model and current host of an awkward, unfulfilling talk show, will be airing an interview with pop princess Janet Jackson. Janet will be discussing her new album, Discipline, and then it looks like Tyra kicks her ass. Do tune in!

Janet Jackson answers to her large gay fan base in a new interview by Clay Clane in HX. She touches on Jermaine Dupri's great relationships with her gay friends, how if she were a man for a day she would be curious about the peeing standing up thing (you and me both sister), and her thoughts on the war between her fans and Madonna's.

Who would be your celebrity girl-crush?
You know who I think is flawless? Alicia Keys. I think she's absolutely beautiful, such a sweetheart, down to earth. So maybe Alicia Keys.

I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but there's an Internet war between Janet and Madonna fans. I know you and Madonna had some beef in the '90s, but do you think the heat between Madonna and Janet fans has any validity?
No—I didn't know this was going on. [Laughs]…

If a "Janet" drag queen had to battle a "Madonna" drag queen, what advice would you give the "Janet" queen?
Kick the bitch's ass!

Prior to "kick the bitch's ass," Janet explained that she had the utmost respect and admiration for her once-rival, of course. [HX]