Janice Dickinson is nothing if not an opportunist. Dickinson, who was most recently in the news in conjuction with Tyra Banks after she called her fat on the Today show and then offered a back-handed apology, glimpsed a paparazzi shot of Tyra carrying a dog-eared copy of her book, No Lifeguard on Duty, on her way to give a talk to young girls.

And she's using my book," Dickinson fumed. "I mean, the thing looks so worn it's like she's been reading it on the toilet. It's pathetic. Where's her originality? Does she have no shame?" Dickinson, who's in talks with NBC for her own chat show, said she'll invite Banks on to confront her.

Also, she thinks Kevin Federline is gross, mainly because of his stretched-out earlobes. Maybe she'll invite him onto her never-gonna-happen talk show to discuss plastic surgery options.

Janice Dickinson is in trouble with Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes friends for having the models on her reality show pose in a catalog dressed like the dead rapper.

FRIENDS of Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, who died in a car crash in Honduras in 2002, are fuming that the "Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency" reality show featured a photo shoot last week for Dragonfly clothing that used models dressed as dead rock stars - including Elvis, Kurt Cobain and Lopes, who was part of the TLC trio. "Imagine her family's surprise to hear that a model was impersonating Lisa for a catalog they never heard of," says a Lopes pal, who added that her family is currently working on a CD of her unreleased music.

Oh, look at that last line! Either they're really angry at Dickinson or are jumping at the chance to mention the new CD.

Despite the fact that she headlines a questionable, self-indulgent talk show and a questionable, self-indulgent (but ultimately addictive) modeling competition, Tyra Banks has been named OK! magazine's woman of the year. And as much as I would like to shake some of ridiculousness out of this woman most of the time, you can't really deny that she does big things.

Of course, she discusses her controversial curvaceousness in the OK! story.

“I love my curves," Tyra tells OK!. "I’ve made millions of dollars with this body.”

And Tyra says that the media is responsible for the body-image issues facing women today. "An average American woman is size 12 or 14," she explains to OK!. "So if I look like a 10 or 12 in a picture and someone says I look disgusting, are they saying the majority of America is disgusting? That made me really upset, and that’s why I decided to fight back."

It sounds like she gave this interview before Janice Dickinson went on her "Tyra is fat, but not in a bad way" tour.

• Ray J's foray into the world of porn didn't work out quite as well as he thought it would. [King]

• Tina Turner has absolutely nothing to say about Ike's death. No surprise there, though. [SB]

• Rapper Plies' enterprising manager was arrested after Florida police seized 80 lbs of cocaine from him and his associates. Since it wasn't crack, he should be out of jail in no time! [BS]

• Tyra Banks uses the Janice Dickinson defense. [US]

• I'm obsessed with "elfing" myself and others. It's not right, but it's okay. [EY]

Janice Dickinson is actually continuing her "Tyra's not fat" tour, and her apologies are getting even less genuine than "Tyra, you're not fat. You're just…you." The less genuine part probably has something to do with the fact that she was on Showbiz Tonight and not face-to-face with a formerly-obese black person.

I think she probably does feel like Tyra is kind of fat, but I also think it was a comment that slipped out on accident. If she keeps getting all of this press for it, though, she's going to start call someone famous a fat ass every time she does an interview.

The greatest thing about publicity tours is that when you go on a talk show in the morning and call Tyra Banks fat during an interview with a black host who has had highly-publicized gastric bypass surgery, you can retract the statement the very same day during an interview with a different black host who has had highly-publicized gastric bypass surgery.

That's exactly what Janice Dickinson, who called Tyra Banks fat on the Today Show yesterday, did when she visited Star Jones later in the day*. Star, who generally has a gentle, fawning interviewing style, showed a brief hint of sass when Janice brought up her Tyra comments. But it's all over now. When Al Roker and Star Jones forgive you for a fat joke, you're forgiven.

*around the 5:00 mark

Clearly, Janice Dickinson has no tender feelings for fellow ex-model and former boss Tyra Banks. When she looks at Ms. Banks, she doesn't see a successful, albeit ridiculous, reality show creator and talk show host, she sees a tub of lard. And has no problem saying so on the Today Show.

As you'll see, Al Roker, who knows a little bit about what it's like to be fat, objects and coerces Dickinson into making a half-hearted retraction. Emphasis on the half-hearted.