Next week I’m scheduled to set foot on US soil for the first time in three months. I suppose it’s about time I begin to get reacquainted with my mother nation’s traditions and values, so I’m really happy this article ran in today’s Wall Street Journal, reminding me that America is a place where serious thought is put into whether our politicians are fat enough to be good leaders.

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• The louder the music the more you drink.

• Vertical farming: the gardening of the future.

• How about we just watch out fat and calories and eat lots of fruits and veggies?

• If you're thinkin' about my baby it don't matter if you're black or white.

• The South leads our nation in obesity. This should probably come as no surprise.

Considering that these days, a double cheeseburger is cheaper than some pieces of fruit, the stats could definitely be worse… According to a recently-released study on childhood obesity, 14 percent of American white girls, 20 percent of Mexican-American girls, and 28 percent (ouch) of African American girls are obese. The numbers aren't great and the ethnic disparities are even worse, but here's the good news: while the obesity levels haven't fallen, they aren't rising either. Yay? [ABC]

• Does obesity contribute to global warming?

• More black women are entering their reproductive years with diabetes.

• A new study on rectal cancer victims adds more evidence that blacks get less treatment and are more likely to die from cancer in the U.S.

• The Bush administration has decided to list polar bears as a "threatened" species without making any moves to improve the environmental factors that are causing the bears to be threatened or attempting to protect them in any way.

• To make matters worse for polar bears, they didn't make the top 10 smartest animals list.

Wherein you, the readers, talk amongst yourselves.

Discrimination against obese people, especially women, is on the rise. According to a new study in the International Journal of Obesity, discrimination against fat people is growing because there are no laws against this sort of abuse, unlike laws governing hate crimes. The reason? Fat is modifiable. Race and sex are not. Does this have any merit? What if you're black, a woman, and obese?

In Central Florida, 36 percent of the black population is obese, compared with 21 percent of whites and 20 percent of Hispanics. It's such a frightening statistic that schools have started sending home notes to parents of overweight children asking them to enroll themselves and their kids into free fitness programs. Contrary to what you'd expect, parent's are not offended. "When I got the notice, I thought this was an answered prayer," said one recipient. "We want to be healthy." Amazing! Who knew all those ignorant rednecks were wrong when they said that "welfare queens" enjoy their lifestyle?

• Oprah and Dr. Christiane Northrup make their vaginas smile on national television. [Jezebel]

• Gary Coleman's pants sold for $400,000 on eBay. I don't know who is more pathetic, Gary Coleman for selling his pants or the guy who paid for them. [E!]

• The editor of a golf magazine got fired for ill-advisedly using a noose to illustrate the "lynch Tiger Woods" remarks made by a Golf Channel anchor, who, incidentally, was not fired. [Jossip]

• At this point, are that many people looking to listen to Prodigy's new album in one language, let alone 1,500? [Wired]

• Slim Shady's looking a little worse for the wear. [CB]

A new study suggests that weight loss stories in black women's magazines tend to recommend fad diets and faith at higher rates than "mainstream" women's magazines, which are more likely to promote eating whole grains, smaller portions and lower-fat foods. Wonderful, because fad diets and "faith in God" are two sure things to melt off the pounds of the black women — 3/4 of whom are overweight or obese — reading the magazines! I'm sure even the most conservative pastors would tell you that laying off the fries and getting your ass off the couch will help you lose weight better than prayer.

For their data, researchers used 406 weight loss articles published from 1984 to 2004 in Ebony, Jet, Essence, Ladies Home Journal, Better Homes & Gardens, and Good Housekeeping.

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• Green funerals might be natural and good for the environment, but the whole concept is pretty hard to get used to.

• With a new law making HIV testing a part of pre-natal care and a requirement for some newborns, New Jersey is on the forefront of the fight against HIV transmission to babies.

• India is definitely the outsourcing capital of the world…

• If not their parents, at least somebody is interested in keeping young black kids at healthy weights.

• It's time for the kids to start leaving Santa carrot sticks instead of cookies on Christmas Eve. [BH]

• Colleges love their forums. If only they really worked. [CBS3]

• The Feds pledge to help Connecticut law enforcement track down the people responsible for noose-hangings. [TD]

• I'm sure Xzibit will think of some special, X-related way to let everyone know he was cast in the new X-Files movie. [Reuters]

• On World AIDS Day weekend, don't let AIDS fatigue take you over.

• Something black people have in common with Chinese women.

• Inner-city African American women have trouble meeting dietary goals that help prevent cancer.

• Along the same lines, more than 50 percent of black and Mexican women are obese.

• Out of the four men arrested for NFL player Sean Taylor's murder, three were in their teens. Somehow, this study doesn't really excuse their behavior.

• Do you know what happens to your electronics after you recycle them?

• The world just gets hotter and hotter — not in the Paris Hilton sense of the word.

• Bill Clinton warns Americans that obesity will cause our nation's collapse.

• But a little extra meat on the bones never hurt anyone.

• Blacks and Hispanics live longer after being diagnosed with Alzheimer's than whites. For once.

• Does anyone really believe these scam emails? Even when they're about puppies?

• Proof that community-based weight loss programs for kids work?

• In the poorest zip codes in the Memphis area, the infant mortality rate is higher than in some Third World countries.

• Simultaneously save the planet and improve your health? It's a nice idea…

• An oil spill in the San Francisco Bay that's killed dozens of animals will probably affect the surrounding wildlife for years.

• Amy Winehouse terrifies Snoop, along with the rest of us. [2Snap]

• Rappers are so enterprising. Rick Ross is set to open a chain of hip hop "Grub Spots." [AHH]

• I don't care what supporters say, Guiliani doesn't care about black people. Kanye West should speak at his inauguration if he wins. [MH]

• Awww, Duke. That's so sweet. [WRAL]

• Whites and blacks in DC straddle two totally different ends of the obesity spectrum. [WP]