• Ice Cube is set to star in a remake of Welcome Back, Kotter. And that's all I have to say about that. [MMB]

• The birthplace of hip hop is in jeopardy. [NYT]

• O.J. Simpson's bail got doubled. The amount of care I have for this particular subject remains the same. [SP]

• "But please understand that sitting in a prison with murderers and criminals is not rehabilitating or what I need to deal with my inner issues." That's what they all say, Foxy. [MTV]

• Randy Moss is in some sort of trouble. Or something. [Newser]

As nice as this year's "highs" were in the black community (that list is coming next), the good stories got significantly less press than the following incidents, which will hereby be known as "lowlights." And there were more than a few of them to choose from this year, when it seemed like we took two steps back for every step we took forward. I compiled this list of lows not to be negative, but to put all of 2007's ridiculousness behind us so that we can have a more positive, productive 2008. Deal? Deal.*

*Yeah, right.

CONTINUED »

Despite being ranked No. 32 on Forbes' 101 Dumbest Moments in Business list — for selling faux fur Rocawear jackets that were actually made out of dog fur — Jay-Z seemed pretty happy at last night's Knicks game.

Also at the game were the Simmons sisters and Spike Lee, of course. Also on the dumb moments in business list were O.J. Simpson's high-cost, low-value sting op, Roy Pearson's $54 million lost-pants lawsuit, Isiah Thomas' sexual harassment case, Don Imus's you-know-what, and Pacman Jones' ill-fated attempt at making it rain.

CONTINUED »

Snyder v. Louisiana, a controversial case involving a 1996 Louisiana murder trial during which the prosecutor frequently compared the black suspect (who was convicted and sentenced to the death penalty) to the recently-acquitted O.J. Simpson in front of a meticulously-selected, all-white jury, went before the Supreme Court yesterday.

Snyder's lawyer said that the prosecutor "learned" from O.J. Simpson's sensational murder trial that he shouldn't let any blacks on the jury and played to the divisive racial feelings aroused by Simpson's verdict to secure a guilty conviction. Not surprisingly, Justice Antonin Scalia didn't agree. Even less surprisingly, Clarence Thomas had nothing to say on the matter. The decision is expected by the summer. [MSNBC]

Damon Dash can deny money troubles — and he often does — but the New York Tax Department doesn't lie. According to the state, Dash owes the government $2 million in back income taxes. That's more than O.J. Simpson owes the state of California, and anytime something you're accused of is more egregious than something O.J.'s accused of, you should be pretty embarrassed.

Also in need of a better accountant: the venerable Cicely Tyson and Ben Vereen. [NYP]

O.J. Simpson's lawyers are saying that Walter Alexander, Simpson's accomplice-turned-rat, sold his (damning) testimony to the highest bidder.

Out by the pool at the posh Palms resort a few hours before the alleged heist, "he asked me if I could watch his back," after which "he leaned forward and it was kind of like, 'Hey, do you think you can get some heat?' " Alexander testified. "'Just in case things go wrong—just in case, you know, they may have heat, you know, can you bring some heat?' "

The prosecuters are saying, "who the hell cares, we've got O.J.'s ass!"

I'm sure people who thrive off of this sort of thing were hankering for another media circus-y, sensational O.J. Simpson trial. But they failed to realize that a pathetic, has-been, football player busting into a ratty casino room to steal back some unexciting sports memorabilia doesn't have quite the same cache as a highly publicized double murder. If you haven't guessed, his preliminary hearing has been quite a snooze thus far.

While most of hearing was fairly mundane, interest was ratcheted up when prosecutors played recordings of the incident in which Simpson can be clearly heard saying, "You think you can steal my s—?"

They followed that recording with another one of Simpson leaving a voice mail on Riccio's cell phone. Again, Simpson can be clearly heard saying that there were no guns present. "I don't know what they talking about a gun."

No guns? Really? This case just got even more boring. And pointless.

New information from the FBI seriously calls into question O.J. Simpson's abilities as a master criminal. He actually wanted to televise his confrontation with the man he claims stole his property. I'm going to hope that version of the plan did not involve weapons.

"Riccio and Simpson want to do a television broadcast confronting Beardsley regarding the items that were stolen," one report said. "Simpson wanted Riccio's assistance in setting up the operation and helping obtain interviews for Simpson through various media outlets after the fact."

Or maybe he used to be a master criminal, but years of being a media whore caused him to lose his talent. [SP]

Sinbad, Dionne Warwick, and OJ Simpson all appear on the California Franchise Tax Board's list of delinquent tax payers. According to the the state controller, a lot of people pay their back taxes before the list is revealed, due to embarrassment. But we all know OJ has had a bit on his mind, and Sinbad's been fielding all of those death rumors, and Dionne Warwick's son might have married Bai Ling. How can we expect them to be thinking about their taxes during these troubled times?

Still, everyone, even people who are now or used to be celebrities, need to pay their taxes. And here's the worst part: Out of the three, Simpson owes the government the least. Now, that's embarrassing.

[E!]

A couple of weeks ago, if you asked me if the sort of person who fraternizes with O.J. Simpson is the sort of person who would take the fall for a friend in need, I would have said absolutely not. And I would have been right.

Simpson golfing buddy Walter Alexander and Charles Cashmore, a part-time disc jockey, appeared in a Sin City courtroom Monday to tell the judge they would accept plea deals and turn state's evidence against the former football star and his alleged accomplices.

Psh! Walt and Chuck aren't going to jail over some sports memorabilia. Hell no! But perhaps they should have thought of that before they joined in on Simpson's overly ambitious sting op. Not after they were arrested.

[E!]

A judge ordered the infamous Goldman family to return a Rolex confiscated from O.J. Simpson as part of his wrongful-death judgment after it was proven that the watch was actually a Fauxlex worth $100. That's $25 less than Simpson claimed he paid for it.

"It was made by the finest craftsmen in China," Goldman attorney David Cook, who had expressed hope that the Rolex Submariner—James Bond's model of choice in the early films—could be worth as much as $22,000, told the Los Angeles Times. "It's a people's Rolex."

…The wrongful-death judgment excludes jewelry worth less than $6,075, so the fake had to go back. If Rosenberg had allowed Cook to sell the watch for its pop culture value, Slate said, then it might prompt the Goldmans to go after more of Simpson's possessions no matter how low their actual monetary value.

I'm pretty sure Simpson has some cubic zirconium cuff links just ripe for the taking. Too bad they cost less than $6 grand.

[E!]

Fred Goldman continues his emotionally fruitless quest for "monetary justice." A judge ordered O.J. Simpson to hand over his Rolex watch, royalties from a video game he appears in, and the any of the "memorabilia" involved in his Las Vegas sting op that he can prove is his. I've already explained that I think Goldman needs to both trim the 'stache and give this monetary justice thing a rest, but going after the man's timepiece is really over the edge.

Especially considering this:

CONTINUED »

O.J. Simpson as we've never seen him before? Since 1988, when Naked Gun came out in theaters, we have seen way too much of O.J., and from every angle. But here he just seems like an aging football star parlaying his success into a comedic film career. How things have changed.
If they start filming Naked Gun 100 3/4 anytime soon, I'm pretty sure he won't be invited.

A Washington Post survey say that the black community's belief in OJ's innocence has dropped by about 31 percentage points since 1995, when the vast majority of us thought he was getting a bum rap. If O.J. can't count on the blacks to excuse his criminal behavior, who can he turn to? Ah, yes. Frat boys.

[MSNBC, Jossip]

• I ddin't feel like this woman didn't deserved her own post, but she's clearly gotten what she wanted all across the blogosphere. Check out Adrianne Curry, aka the first winner of America's Next Top Model, rage against Black History Month. [YBF]

• They really thought a DNA test was necessary to verify James Brown is this woman's daddy? [Bossip]

• Of course, Jim Jones had to wait until the cameras were rolling and his reality show producers were trying to talks business before he decided to count his money 25 times. [SOHH]

• Lil Wayne does his best Gollum impression on the cover of the November Vibe. [C&D]

• O.J. Simpson's armed robbery accuser is clearly not an asset to the prosecution. [TSG]