• Papoose couldn't break Remy Ma out of jail, but he still married her. [LS]

• Bill Cosby's daughter doesn't speak in that "hip hop way." Would anyone expect her to? [BV]

• BET execs defend themselves against claims that they are only interested in hiring Latina women for on-air jobs. [NB]

• "In the 21st century, nations don’t invade other nations." — John McCain… with straight face. [DK]

• Who's more ashamed of their elected leaders right now, the citizens of Turks & Caicos or the citizens of Detroit? [CL]

That well-publicized jailhouse wedding between Remy Ma, who was just sentenced today to 8 years in prison for shooting her friend in the stomach, and Brooklyn rapper Papoose? Yeah, it's not actually going to happen. Not for lack of trying, though.

When Papoose arrived at the jail yesterday — their wedding day — police found a key that "easily opened" the type of handcuffs used at the jail in Papoose's possession. He's banned from Rikers for six months. In two days, Remy Ma lost a fiance, a handcuff key (and possible escape strategy), and eight years of her freedom. Sucks.

Ever the loyal boyfriend, Papoose showed up at today's sentencing hearing and got in a tussle with court officers. “Fuck jail,” he yelled as his friends pulled him away. “Fuck jail, lock me up. I don’t care, y’all just want money. She didn’t’ do nothing.”

RING THE ALARM New York-based rapper Papoose is in big trouble, and not just because he has agreed to join Remy Ma in holy matrimony. James "Rocky" Robinson, the leader of the Bed-Stuy Volunteer Ambulance Corps, was approached by Papoose's people, who asked him if they could shoot footage of the corps while they went about their daily business. Robinson complied, only to find that the footage was actually used in a video for Papoose's song "Ambulance," about murdering a rival. "We figured he was gonna show us doing our patient care on a shooting victim," says Robinson, who plans to take legal action. "We got tricked." You don't dupe a bunch of do-gooders and expect to get away with it! [NEWS12]

WEDDING BEATS Remy Ma's lawyer is probably the puppet master (the untalented puppet master, methinks) who is behind the scenes orchestrating this jailhouse wedding, which he promises will happen, between his client and her boyfriend, Papoose, who Fat Joe claims to have "comatosed" and "pounded out" in North Carolina. In addition to calling on her fans to write letters to the judge explaining how her music has positively affected them (funny comments on that post), this wedding is probably supposed to be some character-building thing in advance of her sentencing. She faces a possible 25 years. But when your fiance is Papoose, it probably makes you look like a more stable person if you don't marry him than if you do.

• Whoopi Goldberg's bringing a musical about Ada "Bricktop" Smith, who I really should have written a "Daily Dose of BHM" about, to Broadway. [EUR]

• Akon's releasing a country album that no one will buy. [C&D]

• 50 Cent is now torn between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. What on earth will we do? [MTV]

• Black suicides on the rise? That sucks. [NPR]

• Brooklyn rapper Papoose plans to marry his lover Remy Ma while she's in prison. In other words, he's riding on the coattails of her publicity. [MTV]

HOW SWEET From Page Six: "RAPPER Fat Joe likes to run his fat mouth. The Grammy winner gives a blow-by-blow account of a fistfight he had in a North Carolina hotel room with Brooklyn rapper Papoose in the new Hip Hop Weekly, on stands today. "We pounded him out, we pounded his DJ out. His DJ went to the hospital," Joe says. "His right-hand man's lip looked like a 18-wheeler's tire. He's [Papoose] balled up in the corner. I'm thinkin' he learned his lesson, but I'm noticing now you gotta really comatose these dudes for them to really learn."'