Here we go! The latest and greatest Obama attack ad out of John McCain’s camp not only juxtaposes the Democratic nominee with wearying tarts Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, it also resorts to one of the oldest scare tactics in the book: reminding everyone that Obama wants to raise taxes (possibly to fund his wife’s Black Panther arsenal? Nobody knows!).

It’s still only July, kids.

[McCain's campaign manager said during a conference call today that juxtaposing Obama with Spears and Hilton was nothing more than comparing "apples to apples." -- Lauren]

PARIS HILTON WANTS TO KNOW HOW MUCH SOUTH AFRICA COSTS The bane of the United States' existence recently tagged along with her boyfriend, Benji Madden, on a trip to South Africa, where she, according to sources is Cape Town, was extremely interested in the local wares.

"Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman's dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, 'If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?'"

Someone should have encouraged her to buy it just to see what would happen.

New disaster in "the dark continent"! Scandalous woman of means Paris Hilton toured a school in South Africa yesterday, just as she warned everyone she would. The Great White Dope touched black toddlers, let them touch her and handed out autographed photos of herself in a bikini. Charity? Not at all; this is a private school and all these kids are rich, rich, rich. Hilton's there to fish for compliments and give the older girls eating disorders. She's really great, isn't she?

Click through for more photos and a look at a younger Paris being much less kind to black people.

CONTINUED »

• Chris Brown confirms that he and Rihanna are just friends who take dips in pools together and publicly make out on occasion. He's just 18, y'all! [MTVUK]

• Stuff White People Like: A lazy con-job? [Root]

• Ice Cube has been waiting about fifteen years to get these feelings out, but he just insured that the cast of Are We Making A Sequel Yet? won't be making an appearance on Oprah's couch. [DBNJ]

• Paris Hilton finally makes that promised trip to Africa, but all she does is sign some autographs for children. Hopefully the kids sell them on ebay. [People]

• Since January, three different State Dept. workers have taken unauthorized peeks at Barack Obama's passport file out of "imprudent curiosity." [CNN]

Despite enjoying the nature of the "rumors," 50 Cent took a moment in front of the camera during Super Bowl weekend to set the record straight. No, he never dated Ciara. Right. No, he isn't dating Tracey Edmonds. Okay. Unfortunately, he failed to mention his new teeth. That's all anyone really cares about.

Also, he says he never kicked Paris Hilton off the stage at his party. After all, they have so much in common, including a penchant for the word "nigger" (even though he puts the "a" on the end). No way he would ever be that mean to her!

• Well, at least Michael Vick is keeping his millions of dollars in signing bonuses. [NYT]

• On Super Tuesday Eve, Hillary cries again. I checked out the video, and I really don't think they're fake tears. But still. [TS]

• Michael Ealy will play Will Smith's brother in Seven Pounds. [BV]

• Larry King and Snoop: A meeting of the minds. [RL]

• Paris Hilton might be glad to hear that 50 Cent got kicked out of an Arizona mall just like she got kicked off of his stage. [AHH]

It looks like relations have soured considerably between 50 Cent and Paris Hilton, who is one of the few celebrities I find more intolerable than Curtis Jackson. The lovey-dovey air that surrounded them during last year's VMAs has been obliterated in an explosion of entitled-heiress tears and faux-thug aggression. PageSix has the tragic details:

During his performance at the Paris Hilton-hosted pre-Super Bowl party for 944 magazine last night, 50 Cent gave a shout out to Paris, who then started singing in the front row.

When the princess decided to get onstage and dance, the hip-hopper quickly instructed her to "Get the f**k off the stage." She started to cry and tried to plead with the party's production staff to let her dance, whining, "But it's my party!"

Her entourage swarmed the fotogs so they couldn't document the embarrassing belittlement but PageSix.com was there.

50 Cent is supposed to interview Paris Hilton for Myspace's celebrity-on-celebrity interview series at the Sundance Film Festival. Page Six wonders what the two will talk about for a full hour. I do too — it seems clear that 50 Cent knows quite a bit about Paris Hilton already.

[Photo Source: WI]

• Mike Huckabee for the Republican presidential nomination! I might just donate money to his primary campaign. [CNN]

• Whatever happened to stripping to pay your way through college? At least it's legal. [CI]

• Bow Wow's away for a few days with an appendix infection and all hell breaks loose for Omarion. [Bossip]

• I hereby decree that Paris Hilton's name will only grace the pages of Stereohyped when she does something like rescue an Oompa Loompa. [MG]

I'm sure all of Rwanda is completely heartbroken that a scheduled visit from Paris Hilton has been canceled. She was going to save lives there. She said it herself.

"I want to travel the world," she says. "I feel like there's a lot I can do, and a lot I can do to help. I know [Rwanda] went through a lot of traumatic experiences, and I feel like if I go there, I can help save some people's lives."

Fortunately for Rwandans, the trip has been "rescheduled" for 2008. In this case, "rescheduled" might mean "actually never happening, ever," but maybe I'm just using common sense and not placing enough faith in Paris Hilton.

[People]

Vivica Fox has pleaded not guilty to DUI, which she was arrested for on March 20th after California Highway patrol spotted her silver Cadillac going 80 in a 65. If convicted, she faces a maximum of 6 months in jail and an $1,000 fine. She's being represented by Paris Hilton's lawyer, who's proven himself to be a winner at keeping DUI-plagued ladies out of jail.

[People]

Paris Hilton has finally decided to implement, or put on a show of implementing, her post-jail plan to turn over a new leaf and use her evil power for good. First step? Taking a trip to Rwanda, because the niggers, as she's fond of calling blacks, need help, too. And hey, it can't be worse than jail!

Can it?

And don't expect the Rwandan expedition to be Hilton's last.

"I want to visit more countries where poverty and children's issues are a big concern," the 26-year-old socialite said. "I know there's a lot of good I can do just by getting involved and bringing attention to these issues."

Aside from her do-gooder plans, Hilton told E! Online that that she will also be working on her new Beverly Hills home to make it more "green friendly."

"I just bought the house and haven't been able to work on it yet," Hilton said. "But I intend to."

She can make her house as green friendly as she wants, it won't do anything to counteract the lethal amounts of gas emanating from her person at all times. I'm not sure what exactly she'll be doing in Rwanda, but if she comes back with a baby…

[E!]

Paris is dying inside right now. Unbeknownst to the blogs, or the paparazzi, or the television journalists who were busy clamoring to cover the announcement of Lindsay Lohan's ridiculously lenient criminal charges and her guilty plea, Nicole Richie quietly entered jail to begin her four-day sentence for DUI.

She was processed, her mug shot was taken, and she was put in a cell. Thirty minutes later, she was released due to jail overcrowding. I'm searching my soul to come up with the same outrage I felt when Paris Hilton was released early (before she was sent back), and I can't really find it — particularly when the prosecution just played total softball with Lindsay Lohan over her drug charges and multiple DUIs. Oh well.

We all know who's not throwing her a welcome home party.

[TMZ]

Should T.I. have given Paris Hilton some pointers about the politics of being famous and incarcerated? He clearly handled his probation violation situation with more aplomb than our least-favorite heiress.

He tells Blender magazine, "(Fame) made it easier because I had a reputation that preceded me, so there wasn't a lot of stand-offish situations. People only gonna mess with you if the s**t you kickin' ain't real. C.O.s, though, some of them would go out of their way to make my life a little harder sometimes. I'd ask them to keep the phone on an extra 30 minutes - they'd cut it off 30 minutes early. Just to say, 'it doesn't matter who you are.'"

So all Paris has to do is take advantage of the reputation that preceded her, and she'll be fine in prison. Let's see, she is known for being dumb, slutty and having an large sense of entitlement. On second thought, maybe she shouldn't try to model her experience after T.I.'s.

[SP]