People magazine paid $15 million for pictures of two newborns so young that they look like every most other newborns of their age and race. At least the money will go to charity. That's all. [MG]

People's recent decision to put every single cover since 1974 in an online archive was a brilliant move that other magazines should copy. Instantly. It is such a treasure trove of information. I mean, "The Night That Rock Cried?" That right there is serious music history. And if you're in the mood, search "Oprah Winfrey" and count the weight fluctuations.

Adorable twin babies you conceived with your strange husband: Priceless.

Pictures of said adorable twin babies on the cover of People: $6 million.

Struggling to feel relevant, the ex-Mr. Halle Berry has released a statement publicly congratulating the actress on her pregancy.

Uh, wouldn't a personal note have worked just as well?

Oh! Then Eric Benet's name wouldn't have been in People. I get it.

[People]