Presumably because employees of the American government have become so damn laughable to people around the globe, the city of Washington, DC is installing in its metro stations friendly reminders for its citizens to value their own lives. Drawn in by new, "fun" games like hopscotch (at left) and I Spy, depressed commuters in our nation's capital will then be tricked into reading this cheerful slogan: "Life is fun. Keep on living. Use caution around the tracks." Ironically, one way to exercise caution around the tracks is to not play hopscotch on the fucking slippery platforms.

Lucky us, we don't need fancy safety warnings in the subways here in New York, where the human feces and urine soaking the tracks are more than enough of a reminder that we don't wanna go in there.