• Papoose couldn't break Remy Ma out of jail, but he still married her. [LS]

• Bill Cosby's daughter doesn't speak in that "hip hop way." Would anyone expect her to? [BV]

• BET execs defend themselves against claims that they are only interested in hiring Latina women for on-air jobs. [NB]

• "In the 21st century, nations don’t invade other nations." — John McCain… with straight face. [DK]

• Who's more ashamed of their elected leaders right now, the citizens of Turks & Caicos or the citizens of Detroit? [CL]

Makeda Barnes-Joseph, Remy Ma's babysitter-turned-shooting victim, is on a litigious rampage, filing a $10 million suit against Remy Ma, who likely has $10 million dollars like I have $10 million dollars, Universal Music Group, and Manhattan's The Pizza Bar, which is where the two were partying the night of the shooting. She says the label encouraged Remy's violent behavior and lyrics and the bar kept serving her drinks even though she was "visibly" intoxicated. Remy Ma, despite a creative escape attempt, is now on year one of an eight-year sentence for the shooting. [SS]

That well-publicized jailhouse wedding between Remy Ma, who was just sentenced today to 8 years in prison for shooting her friend in the stomach, and Brooklyn rapper Papoose? Yeah, it's not actually going to happen. Not for lack of trying, though.

When Papoose arrived at the jail yesterday — their wedding day — police found a key that "easily opened" the type of handcuffs used at the jail in Papoose's possession. He's banned from Rikers for six months. In two days, Remy Ma lost a fiance, a handcuff key (and possible escape strategy), and eight years of her freedom. Sucks.

Ever the loyal boyfriend, Papoose showed up at today's sentencing hearing and got in a tussle with court officers. “Fuck jail,” he yelled as his friends pulled him away. “Fuck jail, lock me up. I don’t care, y’all just want money. She didn’t’ do nothing.”

RING THE ALARM New York-based rapper Papoose is in big trouble, and not just because he has agreed to join Remy Ma in holy matrimony. James "Rocky" Robinson, the leader of the Bed-Stuy Volunteer Ambulance Corps, was approached by Papoose's people, who asked him if they could shoot footage of the corps while they went about their daily business. Robinson complied, only to find that the footage was actually used in a video for Papoose's song "Ambulance," about murdering a rival. "We figured he was gonna show us doing our patient care on a shooting victim," says Robinson, who plans to take legal action. "We got tricked." You don't dupe a bunch of do-gooders and expect to get away with it! [NEWS12]

WEDDING BEATS Remy Ma's lawyer is probably the puppet master (the untalented puppet master, methinks) who is behind the scenes orchestrating this jailhouse wedding, which he promises will happen, between his client and her boyfriend, Papoose, who Fat Joe claims to have "comatosed" and "pounded out" in North Carolina. In addition to calling on her fans to write letters to the judge explaining how her music has positively affected them (funny comments on that post), this wedding is probably supposed to be some character-building thing in advance of her sentencing. She faces a possible 25 years. But when your fiance is Papoose, it probably makes you look like a more stable person if you don't marry him than if you do.

Remy Ma, who was just convicted of assault for shooting her friend in the stomach over $3 grand, is imploring her fans on her Myspace page to send kind letters to the judge so that she might get a more lenient sentence. She faces up to 25 years in prison. "Please write letters about how Remy and her music has positively affected you, influenced you, inspired you, etc.," the note says, "in hopes that the judge will be lenient in Remy's upcoming sentencing. Thank you for all your support." And, really, who hasn't been positively affected by Remy Ma's music?

When she wrote "Now who's that peeking in my window/ Nobody 'cause I live in a penthouse/ Baby I'm sorry but I'm sexy/ And all I want you to do is just bless me, lets see/ This kid that I'm waiting on/ He said he loves when my jeans look painted on/ With a tight white tee, you ain't quite like me" she really helped me with some housing/self-esteem/relationship/fashion issues I was grappling with. And I'll be forever grateful. You know, I just might write that judge a letter.

• Whoopi Goldberg's bringing a musical about Ada "Bricktop" Smith, who I really should have written a "Daily Dose of BHM" about, to Broadway. [EUR]

• Akon's releasing a country album that no one will buy. [C&D]

• 50 Cent is now torn between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. What on earth will we do? [MTV]

• Black suicides on the rise? That sucks. [NPR]

• Brooklyn rapper Papoose plans to marry his lover Remy Ma while she's in prison. In other words, he's riding on the coattails of her publicity. [MTV]

IT'S NOT LIKE SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS WRONG TO SHOOT SOMEONE Speaking of celebrity jail time, Remy Ma was just convicted of assault in NYC. She was arrested last summer after shooting her friend in the stomach during a dispute over money. She faces up to 25 years in prison. Rough.

REMY MA? ONLY KIND OF GUILTYRemy Ma has stopped trying to convince people that she didn't shoot her friend in the stomach — the story she was telling right after she was arrested this summer. Instead, her lawyer's going with the classic "her gun fired accidentally during a scuffle," which really just begs the question, why was the gun out in the first place? Jury deliberation in the case begins today, and she faces 25 years in prison if convicted.

• Oprah Winfrey's being sued by a woman who claims she came up with the idea for the Oprah's Big Give and a woman who claims she sustained serious injuries while attending a taping of Oprah. These are just two of the many, many lawsuits that get filed against this woman a month. [EUR]

• Speaking of lawsuits, the victim in Remy Ma's shooting case has decided not to sue the rapper for $80 million she doesn't have. I guess she figured jail was enough. [AHN]

• Alicia Keys will star in three-minute, Dove-sponsored soap operas that will air during commercial breaks of The Hills. Interesting career move. [HR]

• Condi Rice to Barry Obama: Sorry about that security breach. [MSNBC]

• Meet the Browns might get overshadowed by Horton Hears A Hoo this weekend. [EW]

• India.Arie is Broadway-bound and set to appear in a revival of Ntozake Shange's famous For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When the Rainbow Is Enuf. [EW]

• What do Jack Johnson and Eliot Spitzer have in common? [Root]

• Remy Ma is calculating and irresponsible, says the prosecution in her shooting trial. [MTV]

• HBO has ordered 13 episodes of a series based on Jill Scott's movie, The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency. She'll star of course in the show, of course. [DV]

• Janet Jackson's in the hospital with the flu. Buy her album to make her feel better, would you? [E!]

• Nicole Richie's baby looks pretty cute. So does Nicole Richie. Babies make me soft. [PS]

• The first openly-gay, black, elected official has a lot to say about politics today. [QT]

• A Texas town (well some residents, anyway) rally around a black couple whose house was vandalized with racial slurs. [FWST]

• Remy Ma prepares to become a statistic. [USAT]

• Planned Parenthood's in a "racially-motivated donation" flap. [LAist]

2007 was the year of the celebrity screw up. And we're talking celebrities of all colors, ages, and levels of fame. For Stereohyped's purposes, I'm going to stick with the ones of a certain hue — and there are more than enough to list without getting into the Paris Hiltons and Keifer Sutherlands and Lindsay Lohans of the world. From DUIs to drugs to assaults to illegal weapons, there are far too many* young (and not so young) famous (and not very famous) people whose mugshots belong on the 2007 Hall of Shame.
*I'm sure I'm missing a few!

CONTINUED »

• DMX's rep denies that his client ever collapsed in NYC because the rapper was apparently with his wife at that house in Arizona where they cops found those dead pit bulls. [EUR]

• Blacks in San Francisco are still lamenting the mass exodus from the city. [SJMN]

• The woman Remy Ma allegedly shot is suing her for $10 million. She must not have realized that last week, Remy Ma's lawyers were begging the judges to let her go on a European tour, for which she stood to make about $40,000, because she is completely broke. [EN]

• Black women read tawdry supermarket romance novels, too! [CBC]

• Black voters in South Carolina are primed and ready…but who are they going to vote for? [CT]

• Thankfully, Epic chose not to replace semi-normal Michael Jackson with freak Michael Jackson on the cover of Thriller's 25th anniversary album.

• Bow Wow was rushed to the ER after a performance! It's rumored that Tyra hauled ass to the hospital as soon as she heard. [MTV]

• These ex-Milwaukee police officers know how to protect and serve…the white race. [MSNBC]

• Remy Ma has legal troubles? Get outta here. [E!]

• Barry Bonds maintains status quo with his plea. [BV]