It's absolutely no surprise to any of us that Akon is full of shit, right? It's just sort of crazy that the people at The Smoking Gun, which is really on a roll these days, are the first ones to officially call him on it. With a little digging, they've figured out that Akon's famed backstory — that he was in jail for 4 1/2 years for being "ringleader of a notorious car theft operation" and wrote songs, like his famous "Locked Up" while he was in jail — was false. And the name of his company, Konvict Music, was more wishful thinking than it was based in reality. In his lifetime, he has spent only a few months in county jail.

While the performer's rap sheet does include a half-dozen arrests, Akon has only been convicted of one felony, for gun possession. That 1998 New Jersey case ended with a guilty plea, for which the singer was sentenced to three years probation. Another 1998 bust, this one in suburban Atlanta, has been seized upon by Akon and transformed into the big case that purportedly sent him to prison (thanks to his snitching cohorts) for three fight-filled years. In reality, Akon was arrested for possession of a single stolen BMW and held in the DeKalb County jail for several months before prosecutors dropped all charges against him.

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MCCAIN'S PUBLIC AFFAIRS Did John McCain or didn't he have an affair with a lobbyist 30 years his junior? Even if he didn't, he once had a close enough relationship with her to terrify his aides, who feared that if news of the relationship got out, his candidacy would be over. According the the New York Times, McCain's close ties with the lobbyist underscores the senator's history of "impudence."

Convinced the relationship had become romantic, some of his top advisers intervened to protect the candidate from himself — instructing staff members to block the woman’s access, privately warning her away and repeatedly confronting him, several people involved in the campaign said on the condition of anonymity.

This morning, McCain vehemently denied any romantic involvement with the lobbyist, saying that he intends to move on. I'm sure he hopes we all intend to do the same.

Kwame Kilpatrick, the scandal-plagued mayor of Detroit, has been hit with a new scandal he surely can't recover from. Revealing text messages from 2002 to 2003 between the married mayor and his then-married Chief of Staff, Christine Beatty, have been uncovered by the Detroit Free-Press. They reveal that the two had a steamy love affair — despite testifying under oath that they never had a romantic relationship. Perjury and infidelity — how very presidential! On behalf of his wife and the city of Detroit, I'm humiliated.

Read how their relationship unfolded via text after the jump.

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Raz B, who scandalized the small percentage of the population that knows who he and Chris Stokes are with his child molestation allegations (which Chris Stokes, Marques Houston, and Omarion have vigorously denied), has decided to take it all back in a 30 second YouTube video. He claims the original video (see it after the jump) that started the scandal was leaked without his knowledge and that the claims against his former manager Stokes and Marques Houston were untrue. From the looks of his body language and the sound of his voice, he doesn't seem like he's too enthusiastic about retracting his words. I definitely predict several more YouTube videos, one of which will probably be a retraction of this retraction, in Raz B's future.

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