It's never happened to me when I'm shopping by myself; I guess I have a pretty innocuous look about me. But add my 6'3 boyfriend to the equation, and its not unlikely for us to be followed around stores like we have "thief" tattooed on our foreheads. Years ago, a video store clerk trailed closely behind us for several minutes as we walked along the new releases wall until I finally turned around and half-yelled, "What do you want?" He said that he was just making himself available in case we had a question. I told him we wouldn't be needing help, and he followed us anyway. We left without renting anything. The boyfriend, who is a lawyer, is always telling me to calm down; that I get too worked up over these things. It's because he's used to it. But the fact that he's used to it bothers me even more — it happens to him that often. Just by virtue of being big and black and a man, his shopping experience is different than mine. But not all women can say the same about their individual experiences.

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