It turns out the Teflon Reverend, Al Sharpton, won't be indicted on federal tax charges after all. The feds have dropped their probe of Sharpton and his organization, the National Action Network, in exchange for a promise from Sharpton to pay a tax settlement of somewhere between $2 million and $9 million.

Prosecutors have officially and, I'd bet a million of that tax money, grudgingly, handed the matter over to the IRS. [NYDN]

Al Sharpton is usually the responding to existing controversy or drumming it up himself, but he has had his fair share of personal controversies during his storied career as a civil rights activist and "personality." Most recently, he's under fire for allegedly pocketing big donations from corporations in exchange for giving out stamps of approval for diversity. Sharpton calls it a "fishing expedition," but it's enough to pique the feds' interest. Coincidentally, the one thread that holds all of Sharpton's career black eyes together isn't race or civil rights. It's money.

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The Reverend Al Sharpton and the National Action Network might owe the U.S. government $1.5 million in back taxes and penalties, but, honestly, even the IRS has to know that it is impossible to pay taxes and plot to shut down major cities at the same time. Cut Sharpton some slack!

Sharpton, who sees the government inquiries into his finances as a witch hunt, disputes the accuracy of the quoted debt, but NAN representatives admit that in recent years the organization has had trouble dealing with its rise in stature and the subsequent jump in income and donations. "The infrastructure was trying to keep up with that pace, and it was not a perfect fit," Executive Director Charles King told the AP on Friday. "The National Action Network may not have been perfect, but nothing was going on that was untoward."

Sharpton also has a personal tax debt of over $1 million, which allies say the IRS has inflated based on the NAN's bookkeeping issues. Sharpton's too busy with Sean Bell and a recent police beating in Philadelphia to care. Plus, the last time he was tried for tax fraud he walked away clean. He should have sent Wesley Snipes his lawyer.

Wherein you, the readers, talk amongst yourselves.

"As of next week, 800,000 tax filers daily will begin to have their [economic stimulus checks] directly deposited Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. No checks will be distributed Thursday, and 5 million payments will be made Friday." We're gonna be rich! Okay, not really. But what are you planning to do with your handy bonus from the federal government?

We knew that when Hillary Clinton donated $5 million to her campaign, she didn't even put a dent in her family's bank account. The Clintons are filthy rich! Richer than the Obamas ever were, that's for sure. But who wouldn't expect an older, more established couple that included a former president with through-the-roof speaking fees to be doing better than a younger couple with two children and student loans to pay off?

The Clintons, after much hemming and hawing, released their tax returns from 2000-2006, and the campaign said that the Hillary and Bill, filing jointly, made $109 million during that time and paid $33.7 million in federal taxes. Over the same time period, the Obamas made $3.85 million and paid $1.13 million in federal taxes. They also donated $148,392, or 3.8 percent of their earnings, to charity. The ballers donated $10 million, about 9 percent of their earnings, to charity. Generous.

So why did the Clintons hold out? Did Hillary want to appear more "everywoman" to the coal miners in Pennsylvania? I'm sure they already know she's a millionaire. Yet, the late-Friday-afternoon release of this information tells me they were timing it so it wouldn't get too much press. I'm sure this is all supposed to be meaningful, politically speaking, but all it's doing is making me feel really poor. [CNN, TP]

Damon Dash can deny money troubles — and he often does — but the New York Tax Department doesn't lie. According to the state, Dash owes the government $2 million in back income taxes. That's more than O.J. Simpson owes the state of California, and anytime something you're accused of is more egregious than something O.J.'s accused of, you should be pretty embarrassed.

Also in need of a better accountant: the venerable Cicely Tyson and Ben Vereen. [NYP]

Sinbad, Dionne Warwick, and OJ Simpson all appear on the California Franchise Tax Board's list of delinquent tax payers. According to the the state controller, a lot of people pay their back taxes before the list is revealed, due to embarrassment. But we all know OJ has had a bit on his mind, and Sinbad's been fielding all of those death rumors, and Dionne Warwick's son might have married Bai Ling. How can we expect them to be thinking about their taxes during these troubled times?

Still, everyone, even people who are now or used to be celebrities, need to pay their taxes. And here's the worst part: Out of the three, Simpson owes the government the least. Now, that's embarrassing.

[E!]