Human itching powder Soulja Boy's Internet accounts were all hacked last week. Nightmare! Can you even imagine? I mean, his YouTube access was locked for literally hours.

Did the hack make the crappy rapper wary of all the technology of which he's so fond? Of course not; that would be too rational. As soon as his passwords were restored, Soulja Boy – who is neither – took to his beloved YouTube, threatened the hacker and then weirdly proclaimed his shock at how racist the Internet is. Funnily enough, before asking people to stop calling him a "nigger" in comments sections, SB himself uses the word seven times, and then four times after!

Oh, Soulja Boy, you sure do tell 'em.

CONTINUED »

Hey, have I ever told you guys that I love Beyonce? Well, I do. A lot. Because I do, I cannot let her wedding pass by without a special post, can I? Throughout the six years they've been together, Jay-z and Beyonce have been an intensely private couple, refusing to talk about their relationship even though they never sought to hide it on their numerous Mediterranean vacays, courtside at the Nets games, or at award shows. But the newlyweds were never more obvious in their coupledom than in their many musical collaborations. And now, in celebration of their secret-but-not-secret wedding, which they conducted just as they conduct their relationship (i.e. everyone knows it existed but no one knows much about what went on behind closed doors), here is a retrospective of Beyonce and Jay-Z collabos.

CONTINUED »

Tay Zonday, the "Chocolate Rain" guy with the made-up name and weird voice and cringe-worthy geekiness (whatever, he's making money), won a very prestigious YouTube award. The way he's talking, he was just granted the Nobel Prize for Viral Videos.

"It's the new Emmys," Zonday, 25, said of the video-sharing site's awards in a telephone interview with the Associated Press. "It's the next Oscars. The next People's Choice Awards. It'll be interesting to see what happens five years, 10 years [from now]."

That's overstating the case a bit, isn't it Tay? Definitely more People's Choice than Oscars, that's for usre.

Remember when boy bands used to be good? I don't either, but that's why I thank the spirits of the Internet for YouTube. Without YouTube, this New Edition video for "My Secret" may have withered away into obscurity before I had ever laid my excited eyes on it. And what a shame that would have been.

But it's a double-edged sword. While seeing this video is wonderful, it also makes me realize how very terrible pop music has gotten, simultaneously making me depressed and desperate to hear another cheery pop song from the 80s. Such is the vicious cycle of YouTube.

Enjoy "My Secret," and remember to look for the Magic Johnson cameo.

Real talk? R. Kelly is a complete and utter fool.

And YouTube has been a great venue for artists (I'm thinking of Diddy, here) to display their ignorance in it's full glory.

[C&D]

When Kanye West writes a blog post about a TMZ blog post about his new blog, you know that this whole blog thing has gotten out of hand. Still, I'm pleased to note that Kanye finds this sparkly YouTube gem as funny as I do.

It's unlikely you'll ever be in this situation, but if you are every on stage with Patti LaBelle and think it's a good time to tell a joke, it's probably not. Just for future reference.

[C&D]

Prince is not known for being the most down to earth of living music legends, and his recent assault on YouTube comes as no surprise. But seriously, why deprive people who could never afford or have the opportunity of seeing you in concert a little bit of live Prince?

The Web-savvy artist, who was one of the first major recording stars to utilize the Internet to release new tunes and interact with fans, is planning to sue Google Inc.-owned YouTube, as well as alleged piracy-encouraging sites eBay and Pirate Bay, for copyright violation.

"Very few artists have ever taken this kind of action over their rights," the singer's spokesperson said. "Yet Prince has shown time and time again he is ready to challenge the system in new ways to put artists and music first."

So, I'm guessing Prince probably wouldn't be too happy about this. Or this.

[E!]

Here's a Kanye West video that's devoid of weird 80s Japanese backdrops and animation and still manages to be one of the top 20 most viewed clips on YouTube. It warms the heart, really.

I guess in order to be Tyra Banks, you have to have a hefty amount of self-confidence and be totally okay with blatant displays of self-indulgence, but you should also be well aware of your shortcomings. The YouTube freestyle routine she's got going here makes me think someone should have told her that her talents do not extend to comedy. Or at least the Tyra Banks Show people could have just told her they were going to post it on YouTube as they hit the delete button.

Maybe it's the quality of the video or maybe it's the fault of overzealous nip slip alarmists who can't tell a nude bra when they see one, but I don't see much in the way of actual boob in this video of Beyonce's dress flying up (to the beat!) during a performance in Toronto last week. No way a girl can bounce around like that for hours on stage with no bra on. If she does, she's even more impressive than I thought.

[PC]

The National Music Publishers’ Association is joining in on a lawsuit, which already includes Viacom and the Football Association Premier League, to sue YouTube for copyright infringement.

The plaintiffs say YouTube is breaking the law by carrying video clips for which the plaintiffs hold copyrights. YouTube says it is complying with the law by immediately taking down any clips found to be violating copyrights after receiving notification.

David M. Israelite, chief executive of the music publishers’ association, said in a statement that his group was “very concerned about YouTube’s approach to copyright.”

Seriously, if YouTube goes the way of Napster after all of these lawsuits, I'm going to take to my bed for a week.

[NYT]

Clearly there was something in the air on the set of Diff'rent Strokes, where the child actors turned out even more messed up than average. Seriously, if Gary Coleman is the DS graduate who, by virtue of still being alive and never being brought up on attempted murder charges, is the one with a good head on his shoulders, you know there's something wrong. And while Coleman might not be known in his adult life for a raging drug addiction, he's an angry little man these days. It makes you forget that he was kind of adorable once.

Destiny's Child members officially have balance issues. Is it the unnatural weight of their weaves throwing off their center of gravity? At yesterday's concert in Orlando, Beyonce took a nasty, face-first spill that resulted in a bleeding leg. But she's Beyonce, so she immediately got up without skipping a beat. She later joked with the audience not to put in on YouTube. Someone didn't listen.

[PH]