John McCain took his inaccurately named Straight Talk Express to Essence recently, giving the magazine his very first interview with black press. As can be imagined, there was quite a bit of pandering mixed with his politics. When asked how he was going to lessen the divide between the Republican party and black and Latino voters, he said he would "go to places and venues that would allow me to continue a dialogue with the African-American community. [He] will go to the NAACP convention." He said this of his record of "going to places and venues" where he might happen upon some black people:

"I went to Selma and stood at the Edmund Pettus Bridge and talked about the need to include “forgotten Americans.” I will never as long as I live forget the beautiful women of Gees Bend, Alabama, with the quilts. They were singing spirituals. On the first occasion I could find in the White House I would have them sing again. It was so moving. There was a woman there who was 91 years old. Can you imagine the environment she lived in when she was 21? And yet, this woman was full of hope, compassion and forgiveness. But does that mean in my campaign I am going to get a majority of the African-American vote? Probably not. But what it does mean, what I’ve committed to, is assuring and promising all Americans whether they vote for me or not, I am going to be their president. Americans are sick and tired of partisanship and divisions along party lines that cause gridlock and frustration and lack of addressing the issues that confront America."

You hear that? He's bringing old black church ladies to the White House. I had this man pegged all wrong. Oh wait, no I didn't.