Threadbare
Parental Prejudice
 


Wherein you, the readers, talk amongst yourselves.

The social barriers that many of our parents dealt with when they were in the dating world have been (more or less) lifted, but I can't count how many times a friend or acquaintance has told me that their parents or grandparents would die if they knew they were dating someone of a different race, religion, and/or ethnicity. Do your parents have open minds when it comes to your relationships or has it been a learning process? Are there people you just "can never bring home?"

Comments (21)

No. 1 · J

Mom wouldn't care about any race as long as he is Christian. Dad would have a fit with white men … (and please don't let him be Republican.) *falls out*

Posted: Jul 25, 2008 at 6:10 pm
No. 2 · *M*

Parents would not care
My sisters mostly date white men, so they would probably be shocked if i brought a black guy home.
Then again, it is the UK, half the population will end up being mixed next 100 years.

Posted: Jul 25, 2008 at 6:43 pm
No. 3 · An Uninspired Muse

Mom is getting use to me dating outside my race, shes more concerned with her side of the family who would have a fit.

As far as I know Dad doesn't care, anyone who dates his daughters, he hates equally. :)

Posted: Jul 25, 2008 at 6:45 pm
No. 4 · thesciencegirl

My parents are of different races, so they could care less about race. But there would be a problem (for my mom) if I brought home a non-Christian.

Posted: Jul 25, 2008 at 6:48 pm
No. 5 · Mammoth

It was fun bringing home my ex-girlfriend, a black woman with dreadlocks (I'm a Persian woman who my parents believe to be straight, more or less, though I've never given them any reason to believe I have any kind of romantic or sexual relationships at all).

I introduced her as my friend (as I used to introduce all of my boyfriends, too), and my parents loved her and ask me about her to this day. However, I'm sure things would be different if I had introduced her as my lover.

Luckily the most inflammatory thing my dad said during her trip to visit them with me wasn't about black folks, gay folks, interracial anything - instead he went off on how Starbucks is ruled by Zionist Jews and all of their profits go to fund the war between Jews & Muslims in the Middle East. Horrifying but not as bad as directing hate toward a group she represented.

Sigh.

Posted: Jul 25, 2008 at 7:21 pm
No. 6 · MeikMeik

@ J My parents now say the same thing, as long as he's christian.

My mom used to give me the side eye my junior-senior year in high school (dated a white guy), and all through out college (dated hispanic guys). Now she feels whoever loves me treats me with respect yada yada yada…then thats who i should be with.
Funny thing is she despised the black guys I've dated.

Posted: Jul 25, 2008 at 8:00 pm
No. 7 · RainaWeather

In the past my mom would have cared but not now. I'm already a lesbian, the city we live in now is predominantly white, then hispanic. I'm barely religious. I think my mother's only problem would be if i brought home an atheist.

Posted: Jul 25, 2008 at 8:10 pm
No. 8 · just me

Not quite on subject but I'll tell my story any way. I'm white, married for 36 years to a black man. We have a beautiful, handsome, intelligent, successful son. Of course neither of us would care who he fell in love with. The worry was that he fell in love with an Hispanic woman and when he was to meet her parents for the first time I was so afraid they would be upset about his color. We all had a good laugh when it turned out their only objection was that he was not Catholic! They have been married for 12 years now and all the families love each other! Life is beautiful.

Posted: Jul 26, 2008 at 4:42 am
No. 9 · K.I.M.

All of my "firsts" have been white men. Perhaps my first *and only* husband will be white as well.

My parents don't care…they chuckle at the thought, but as long as he loves me and is a good man…they'd just be happy that I've been married off.

Posted: Jul 26, 2008 at 5:24 am
No. 10 · Daria at Gorgeous Black Women

As long as he's Christian, they wouldn't drop dead.

Based on reactions I've gotten after pointing out men I found attractive, I don't think they'd like me to bring home someone Hispanic (including Spaniards as my current love for Javier Bardem was met with disapproval) or anyone from the continent of Asia except Indians since they loved India. Based on my record, I will say that I'll probably end up with a white guy because they are the only ones who've ever tried to seriously "holla." The giant salad bowl of other men I've liked don't tend to like me back. :(

Posted: Jul 26, 2008 at 8:36 am
No. 11 · di-my-e

my parents have never objected about my choices in men. as long as i am treated the way i (and they) expect me to, there is no problem. my fiance is Italian, non-practicing Catholic, and sorta "suburban", as opposed to me being Black, very spiritual, and a rooted Detroiter, go figure.

Posted: Jul 26, 2008 at 9:57 am
No. 12 · Esteban

My mother used to think that I was gay because I never brought my girlfriends around her. I told her that because I dated a lot of non Jamaican girls(mostly African and Hispanic) that she'd beef about it with me. Turns out, I was the ass cuz she was like "As long they're good to you, I'm good."
Took a massive amount of weight off my shoulders.

Posted: Jul 26, 2008 at 10:19 am
No. 13 · Nicole

Well, I'm from the Bay Area and couplings of all varieties are commonplace. My mom's Hawaiian, my biological dad is Arab, and the man who raised me who I consider my father is black so I wish they would try and judge who I loved and wanted to be with. Haha.

Posted: Jul 26, 2008 at 3:36 pm
No. 14 · mkk233

Hello everyone I am newly registered here but I am always visiting this site. I recently was a victim of DWB, racial profiling from police officers. I want everyone to check out my blog,myinnercity.wordpress.com. It's new,I really don't like writing but I just really wanted to get my feelings out.

Discrimination really hurts.

Posted: Jul 26, 2008 at 4:03 pm
No. 15 · RhymesWithSilver

My best friend grew up a very secular Jew, and was totally shocked when her parents flipped out over her black boyfriend. In our homogenously white hometown, it had simply never come up in her house, or in mine. When I asked my parents if they'd be upset if I brought home a black man, they thought for a while and concluded "Uh, yes. But we're ashamed of ourselves for feeling that way!" My family has been marrying more and more diversely for the past few generations, so I think it's only a matter of time before that gets cleared away.

Posted: Jul 27, 2008 at 12:24 am
No. 16 · ilnazhad

I'm iranian. My mother keeps saying she pictures me with a "handsome, wonderful white man." Creeps me out.
She doesn't want me to ever date an Asian man or an Indian man. She thinks they're less attractive…
My dad doesn't want me to date at all right now. I know as a teenager I'm supposed to care, but I haven't met a single person I am romantically interested in yet. It makes no difference.

Posted: Jul 27, 2008 at 2:31 am
No. 17 · trin-trin

My mother had this idea in her head when I was in high school that I would give her half-asian grandbabies…now she's more concerned that I don't get carted away by all the africans I been dating. My father (and his side of the family) are all like, "as long as he's black…"…for my brothers though, my mom is adamant that they only date black women (when they start dating) and my father is more on that "you love who you love…yadda yadda yadda"…funny double standards

Posted: Jul 27, 2008 at 11:02 am
No. 18 · Khia213

My mother has never gotten over the fact that I married white. Of course, as my father used to say to me, "Honey if you brought home Jesus, as a date, your mother would drag me in the kitchen and ask "Why does that boy have holes in his hands and why can't his father get him a better job?" Nobody, black, white or indifferent was ever going to be good enough for her.

Posted: Jul 27, 2008 at 11:32 am
No. 19 · Daria at Gorgeous Black Women

LOL @ Khia. My brother will probably marry within my ethnic group, race and religion. Just to make me look bad.

Posted: Jul 28, 2008 at 10:28 am
No. 20 · holls

My mom, insanely, is opposed to the Irish and Hispanics. WTF? I think she's ready to drop it now that my marriage to someone 'suitable' tanked, though.

Posted: Jul 28, 2008 at 6:57 pm
No. 21 · Daria at Gorgeous Black Women

Oh, no Hispanics or people who turn red in the sun at my house either. That doesn't exclude all Irish people, but a good number of them.

Posted: Jul 29, 2008 at 5:12 pm
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