I think after a certain point, if you are chronically unlucky in love, you need to look hard in the mirror and seriously contemplate what's going on with you and what are your deficiencies, instead of pointing the finger at a whole group of people. Relationships are a two way street, and if she is having all these bad experiences, the constant all of them is her.

And if black men really are the problem, they aren't the only group of people out there to date. Pick someone else.

In my experience people always give you signs indicating what type of person they are, one needs to trust their instincts and pay attention to those signs.

Also making broad generalizations on groups of people based on your own limited personal interaction with a few members of said group is juvenile at best and a sign that you are a person best avoided by those looking for a serious relationship.

Cheating suckers come in every shape, race, and form.

…But there are sweet, caring, faithful guys out there too.

Cheating occurs more often than not. It's human nature. But you can't give up. Like somebody mentioned, look within first to ensure that you're not attracting the type of guy that would cheat. For example, when you all began…did you first build a friendship…was he interested in YOU? Or did you two lay down first then worry about getting to know if you like and respected each other.

Or you could click on one of these cheesy interracial dating ads and give it a go at white men (assuming that you too are black). *teasing…they cheat too*

I"In 1994, the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago upended the conventional thought of general licentiousness (generated in large part by sex study pioneer Michael Kinsey). It showed 15 to 18 percent of "ever-married people have had a sexual partner other than their spouse while married." And just 3 to 4 percent have cheated on their spouse in any given year."
I was friend with some much older European women while living in AIT (it's in Bangkok, Thailand). They were all talking about how "all men cheat" and they are fine with their husband cheating on them. These were very religious people. One even said that after she arrived early from vacation, she called her husband to warn him she's coming home and if there is a woman at home, she should leave now. I was in fucking awe. These were "old-fashioned" women. This doesn't prove anything, but this was one odd experience of mine…

Oh, cheating is not okay. And it happens in all races. Of course, there are some cultures that allow the male to have sex outside of their marriage, but I guess that's considered "fair game" and not "cheating"….

@Ilnazhad

Remind me to never date outside the USA (kidding)

What about STD's? Is that the only part of the world where EVERYONE is clean?

I had a White co-worker tell me that it must be hard as a Black woman to find a mate because all Black men cheat and are not willing to settle down. While I stood trying to filter my reaction another White co-worker jumped in and really let him have it. I think that the media really does make it seem that Black men are out there commiting crimes and sleeping with every women in sight. But it definately is not the case.

I agree with Tribalace, I always say a man (people really) will tell you exactly who they are in the beginning its just that half the time we ignore it because we want them to be someone else; the fantasy man we've been waiting for.

What really helps me is talking to men who are happily in love. I have 2 co-workers and 2 male friends who have been married/dating for years and their eyes still light up when talking about their partners. So I know its out there I just have to find it.

Maybe the type of man she's most attracted to is the same type who's likely to cheat. For the men we consider most appealing (sexy go-getters with lots of passion), that's a pretty standard flaw. There are some guys for whom being faithful is damn near impossible. Either the girl in question needs to start looking for a different type of man, or maybe set some ground rules for (gasp) an open relationship.

There is no man who categorically wouldn't cheat. There are men who haven't cheated yet, don't want to cheat and with enough luck, fortitude and/or lack of options might be fortunate enough to avoid it… however we're all an accident waiting to happen.

like my uncle once told me:

show me a gorgeous woman and i will show you a man who is tired of banging her…

I don't think that all men cheat or men cheat more than women. It depends on the person, if someone, regardless of their gender, doesn't like/love their current relationship they may feel the need to linger to be with someone else other than their current spouse/lover.

I also agree w/ Tribalance and NeeNee. I once heard someone say, "When a person shows you who they are, believe them." You can't change a cheater so don't try. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

I'm also curious to know what you all think constitues cheating. In my opinion, cheating is not always sexual, but can be an emotional affair.

I wish blk men ran to our defense when one of them says something awful about us, the same way we do when the positions are reversed.

ilnazhad - Some French and German women look at cheating and affairs as perfectly normal.

I do think cheating happens more often than not.

Your friend might be chronically unlucky in love because maybe she's just too quick to jump into relationships with just anyone. Some people are so afraid of being alone that they'll be with just anyone, even if that person has "Cheater" stamped all over their face.

The other factor is not having a model for what a good man and a good relationship should be like. I'm in this boat, very conscious of it and very picky as a result. Poster Girl Halle is a great example.

Anyone is subject to temptation. As a man, I have to realize that at any point if the circumstances are right, the devil just may slide in there and tempt me. That is where your faith really has to be strong to avoid situations that set you up for disaster. You got to know your weaknesses. That's why Glen stays out the clubs, strip joints, hotel parties, etc. I'm married…home, work, church, & the gym are spots safe for me.